


Complimentary Black

by thatonelesbianyouknow (orphan_account)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-10-04
Updated: 2011-11-06
Packaged: 2017-10-24 07:30:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/260689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/thatonelesbianyouknow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>CA: i mean wwas that just me<br/>CA: i felt like wwe had a really solid rivvalry goin on there<br/>CA: like somethin clicked<br/>TA: oh my god.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Only thing I have to say about this I think is the fact that this is kind of AU? The trolls have played Sgrub and are now stuck in the Veil, buuuuut I don't really care to write this into continuity with the story because I don't want to this shit to get really complicated with all the killings and stuff, and other things may be weird because I'm kind of aging them up in my head, etc., etc. idk, I just wanted to write a straight blackrom fic and not have to sweat over it, and I just like the idea of them being in the Veil. =I

caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

TA: oh god.  
CA: wwhat the glub kind a reaction is that  
TA: iit'2 the kiind where ii cannot fuckiing beliieve you are tryiing two talk two me again.  
CA: wwhy  
CA: wwhat the fuck did i ever do to you  
TA: gee, ii dont fuckiing know.  
TA: how about when you ju2t deciided two waltz your a22 iinto my 2e22iion for no rea2on but two duel me riight iin the miiddle of the fuckiing game.  
TA: whiich wa2 probably, though a fuckiing piitiiful pii22poor excu2e for a duel anyway, the mo2t annoyiing thiing ever.  
TA: and now, you won't leave me the fuck alone.  
TA: everytiime ii turn around 2omeone2 biitchiing two me about fiixiing these 2hiity a22 meteor computer2.  
TA: and then when ii fiinally thiink iit'2 over, ii walk back over to my place, and ju2t gue22 who2e riidiing my a22 wiith theiir fuckiing u2ele22 purple-texted hoofbea2t2hiit?  
TA: go on, ju2t fuckiing gue22.  
CA: is that a rhetorical question or did your fuckin retarded gutterblood mind forget wwho you wwere talkin about an you really wwant a answwer  
CA: i honestly cant tell  
TA: fuck iit eridan ii'm ju2t blockiing you agaiin ii'm two tiired for thii2 2hiit.  
CA: no sol wwait  
CA: wwait im sorry that wwas uncalled for i think  
CA: i guess you cant help bein a autistic landwwellin nincompoop  
TA: wow.  
TA: ii hope that wa2n't you apologiiziing two me 2iincerely becau2e iit'2 ju2t really 2ad what a fuckiing nook2niifer you really are.  
TA: con2iider thii2 two tear2 2hed at the lo22 of eriidan ampora2 ba2iic decency.  
TA: only oop2, my mii2take, you never had any two begiin wiith.  
CA: this isnt goin howw i planned to be honest  
CA: im not really sure howw its goin right noww but it feels not good  
TA: how about ju2t telliing me what you want?  
TA: iin2tead of pu22yfootiing around agaiin.  
CA: uh  
CA: wwell i guess  
CA: i actually wwanted to talk to you about that duel wwe had earlier  
TA: uh, okay.  
TA: ii gue22 iif iit'll make you fiinally 2hut up, that'2 fiine.  
CA: wwell  
CA: did you  
CA: really think it wwas a pisspoor excuse for a duel  
TA: what?  
TA: what doe2 that matter?  
TA: iit wa2 a completely 2tupiid wa2te of tiime regardle22.  
TA: and iit made you look liike an a22hole.  
TA: and made me feel liike an a22hole ju2t for knowiing you.  
CA: yeah but other than that  
CA: i mean  
CA: i felt like it wwas a glubbin decent fight you knoww  
TA: you are 2eriiou2ly the weiirde2t guy iive ever met.  
TA: and that2 really 2aying 2omethiing, wiith all the2e nook2niffer2 were stuck wiith now.  
CA: sol youre not answwerin the coddamn question  
TA: oh my god, what the hell do you want me two 2ay?  
TA: ii don't even know what an2wer you're fuckiing lookiing for here.  
TA: ii gue22 iit wa2 a good fiight? whatever the 2hiiit that mean2.  
TA: iif you can call a completely retarded wa2te of everyone2 tiime good.  
CA: okay  
CA: no thats vvery good actually  
CA: i wwas thinkin it wwas good too  
CA: it just felt kinda  
CA: right  
TA: what ii2 thii2.  
CA: i mean wwas that just me  
CA: i felt like wwe had a really solid rivvalry goin on there  
CA: like somethin clicked  
TA: oh my god.  
CA: wwhat  
TA: oh my god.  
CA: i said wwhat you dumbass freak  
TA: are you 2eriiou2 riight now.  
TA: are you 2eriiou2.  
CA: about wwhat  
TA: oh you fuckiing know what.  
TA: wow, congradulatiion2 dude, you fiinally managed to cheer me up.  
TA: so you’re telliing me that you me22ed wiith the flow of the game ju2t 2o you could enter iintwo my world, 2hoot one of your fucked up, angel-entraiil- covered harpoon2 at me, and get your own a22 handed two you iin a matter of 2econd2.  
TA: and now you wont leave me alone, pe2teriing me liike a fuckiing needy liittle grub every two 2econd2.  
TA: all becau2e you have a niice liittle black bulge iin your pant2 ju2t for me.  
TA: well jegu2, ii may be laughiing at thii2 2hiit for day2.  
CA: wwoah  
CA: okay that wwasnt wwhat i wwas getting at AT ALL  
CA: thanks for completely misinterpretin me you dirtscrapin fuckwwad  
CA: but noww that you mention it  
CA: maybe this could be the start of a lot of really good duels  
CA: maybe this could be a thing  
CA: a caliginous thing  
TA: maybe you can go pii22 up a rope.  
CA: wwoww rude  
TA: 2eriiou2ly, dude, thii2 ii2 ju2t a joke.  
CA: wwhat  
CA: i am bein completely heartfelt here sol  
CA: are you seriously takin this as a glubbin joke  
CA: oh cod i can hear you laughin ovver there  
CA: howw much of a fuckin inconsiderate landdwwellin scumbag can one guy be  
TA: you want me two take thii2 2eriiou2ly?  
TA: fiine.  
TA: no.  
TA: not iin a miiliion 2weep2 would ii fiill any quadrant2 wiith your 2orry a22.  
TA: you're 2o glubbiing pathetiic.  
CA: wwoah  
CA: wwhat  
CA: did you just say “glubbin”  
TA: what?  
CA: wwhat the fuck  
CA: no seriously wwhat the fuck  
CA: wwhos ovver there with you  
TA: 2hiit.  
CA: oh my cod fef  
CA: are you two  
CA: oh cod you ARE arent you  
CA: i shouldve known  
CA: I shouldve fuckin known  
CA: youre killin me sol  
CA: you are fuckin killin me

twinArmageddons [TA] blocked caligulasAquarium [CA]

CA: oh coddammit

 

Eridan whipped his head away from his computer screen, looking behind him and craning his neck slightly to see the trolls on the other side of the room. For a moment he caught Sollux glancing over his shoulder back at him, but the gaze was quickly returned back to Feferi, who was standing to his right, as if there had been no one there at all. Eridan could see a small smile breaking at the corners of his mouth as Feferi spoke excitedly about something, eyes wide and bright as she laughed and giggled at whatever she was talking about.

Eridan couldn’t hear what they were saying. He could only stand there and watch, clenching his fists at his sides and feeling the skin on his palms tingle in pain as his nails dug deep into them, not paying attention, not even caring. He felt his heart drop as he suddenly wondered if Sollux had shown that pesterlog to Feferi, if she had been looking over his shoulder the entire time and laughing at him too. Eridan bit his lip, wanting to go over there, wanting to go over to that lowblooded scum and hurt him somehow, hurt him the way that he was hurting Eridan right now. But the seadweller was at a loss, wouldn’t know what to do even if he did make it over there, and his entire body felt too heavy to move anyway. So he could only watch them.

Feferi was looking at Sollux, looking at him with those amazingly bright eyes, every feature on her face radiating with pure, unadulterated optimism. Eridan used to complain about how much that boundless optimism annoyed him, but the truth was that he was envious of her positivity, and especially now felt embittered about how much more hopeful she was than the supposed “Prince of Hope” himself. Eridan wondered if Sollux noticed how her eyelids would flutter whenever she giggled, looking down sheepishly. He wondered if he noticed that whenever she heard something she liked, her gills quivered ever so slightly. He wondered if he noticed the way her fingers always fidgeted excitedly. He wondered if Sollux knew exactly how much it hurt Eridan to see her happy with someone else.

But that yellow-blooded troll. The fact that it was him made it sting even worse. The fact that the lowblooded piece of trash had the gall to ignore his advances, to block him, to laugh at his intentions. He, an inferior, treating his superior with such horrendous etiquette. And then, on top of all that, he takes her from him. He takes away the one thing that Eridan had ever held dear, his matesprit (as unrequited as it was).

Eridan felt awful. He could feel the pain of the skin of his palms threatening to break, and felt his lip already torn by his sharp teeth, tasting his own purple blood; but it still wasn’t enough to mask the pain of having Feferi ripped away from him.

Nor was that enough to mask the nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach that came whenever he looked at the yellowblood.

He _hated_ him. He hated that fucking lowblooded nooksniffer with every fiber of his being, hated him for everything that he was, everything he stood for, and everything he had ever done. Eridan found himself flushing purple as the feeling grew inside him, a feeling so black he could scarcely hold it in. Never before could he remember hating someone _this fucking much_ , not even Vriska. It was so intense that Eridan thought that Sollux couldn’t possibly hate Eridan as much as Eridan loathed Sollux. And that just pissed Eridan off even more. But it was an odd feeling. It was something he didn’t quite understand, but even with so much hate, _all of his fucking hate_ , he didn’t want Sollux dead. It wasn’t like seeing a reprehensible beast— like a whale or an angel or something –and wanting it exterminated. It was… deeper than that. The feeling was amazingly invigorating, when he thought about it. It was the kind of intense feeling that made him feel awake, alive; it made him… _excited_.

His fists now trembling at his side, Eridan’s focus shifted erratically from Sollux to Feferi, his feelings swinging violently from exhilarated to heartbroken as he did so.

Oh my god, this was completely emotionally exhausting. He felt as if his head would explode from the severe mood whiplash he was experiencing.

Eridan finally managed to convince his legs to move at this uncomfortable rush of feelings, and he hurried over to the transportalizer on unsteadily, going as quickly as he could in an effort to avoid making eye contact with anyone. As he stood on the pad and waited to fizz out of sight, he kept his gaze focused on the ground. Because of this, he couldn’t see that Sollux watched him as he left, following him as he trekked across the room while Feferi prattled away, not noticing that the attention was no longer on her. Nor did Eridan see that after he transportalized, Sollux’s gaze remained locked on the empty pad for a while longer before eventually returning his attention to Feferi.


	2. Chapter 2

caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

CA: kar ivve got a glubton a feelins right noww an i dont knoww howw to deal wwith any of them  
CA: im dyin here man  
CA: first fef drops me like a glubbin ton a carp from a quadrant i didnt even wwant her in in the first place  
CA: an then i havve this great duel wwith sol right an im thinkin wwe got a pretty good rivvalry goin on  
CA: but then not only does that lowwblooded piece a trash laugh at me  
CA: noww he an fef are gettin all lovvey dovvey wwith each other  
CA: and it makes me fuckin sick  
CA: kar are you evven listenin  
CG: WOW.  
CG: THANK YOU, ERIDAN, THANK YOU VERY FUCKING MUCH FOR ENLIGHTENING ME ON THE PITIFUL CLUSTERFUCK THAT IS YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW.  
CG: BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY, I HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN SIT HERE AND LISTEN TO YOU SPEW YOUR SENSITIVE HIGHBLOOD PROBLEMS IN MY DIRECTION.  
CG: HOLD ON, LET ME SIT DOWN AND DELICATELY PROP MY HEAD UP ON MY HANDS, SWINGING MY FEET WITH BARELY CONTAINED ANTICIPATION.  
CG: CAN YOU SEE ME, ERIDAN? I’M EVEN COQUETTISHLY COCKING MY HEAD TO THE SIDE SO MY RIGHT EAR CAN FULLY RECEIVE WHAT LEGENDARY NEWS YOU HAVE TO SHARE WITH ME.  
CG: COME ON, ERIDAN, I AM LITERALLY SO FUCKING READY FOR THIS IT’S LIKE IT WAS MY DESTINY TO BE THE WASTE BIN FOR YOUR MALODOROUS THOUGHT-DROPPINGS.  
CG: VOMIT YOUR WORDS INTO MY FULLY PREPARED HEAR DUCTS.  
CA: wwoww  
CA: kar youre bein spectacularly fuckin rude  
CA: an also kinda fuckin gross  
CA: im feelin vvery uncomfortable wwith this actually  
CG: WELL I GUESS THAT CAN BE MY CUE TO REEL IT IN THEN, IF I’M OFFPUTTING TO THE MOST OFFPUTTING PIECE OF SHIT IN HERE.  
CA: kar if you dont mind im not in the mood for your usual good-natured ribbin  
CA: as i explained earlier  
CA: im actually feelin a little sick about all a this  
CG: UGH.  
CG: UM, I GUESS I’M SORRY THEN.  
CG: BUT WHAT EXACTLY IS IT THAT YOU WANT FROM ME?  
CA: i dont fuckin knoww  
CA: i guess i just wwanna talk wwith someone  
CA: im feelin kinda lonely noww  
CA: and like evveryone hates me  
CA: wwell thats not right  
CA: if sol hated me then there wwouldnt be a problem  
CA: its just like im fuckin nothin  
CA: its like im not evven wworth feelin anythin towwards  
CA: i feel like im just a fuckin annoyin pile a wwaste that youre all just alwways tryin to avvoid steppin in  
CA: oh cod kar i just made myself evven more depressed  
CA: im glad at the vvery least youre here to talk  
CG: HOLD ON ERIDAN, SOME OTHER FUCKASS KEEPS BOTHERING ME.  
CG: I’VE GOTTA TAKE CARE OF THIS.  
CA: oh my fuckin cod  
CA: wwere you evven listenin to a glubbin wword i wwas sayin  
CA: kar please just talk to me PLEASE

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering caligulasAquarium [CA]

CA: oh fuck my hot nook

\----

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

TA: kk, you there?  
TA: kk.  
TA: kk.  
TA: ...KK.  
CG: FOR THE LOVE OF THE MOTHER GRUB’S HOLY FRESH-SCENTED NOOK, WHAT?!  
TA: wow what are you two good two talk two me all of a 2udden?  
CG: NO, IT’S JUST THAT SOMEONE’S ALREADY BITCHING AT ME RIGHT NOW.  
CG: I SWEAR, YOU ASSHOLES ARE GONNA GIVE ME A FUCKING ANNYURISM.  
CG: ALL 11 OF YOU ARE GOING TO CHARGE AT ME LIKE WILD MUSCLEBEASTS IN HEAT, WEEPING AND WHINING IN SOME SUPERNATURAL, UNHOLY UNISON. AND WHEN I HEAR THAT DAMNED DIN OF THE ACURSED WAILING SIRENS, MY THINK PAN WILL SCREAM WITH THE PAIN OF A THOUSAND DYING SUNS AS MY CRANIUM OVERFILLS WITH BLOOD.  
CG: I’LL DIE FACEDOWN IN A POOL OF MY OWN FLUIDS WHILE YOU INSUFFERABLE NOOKSUCKERS HAVE AN EMTIONAL CIRCLEJERK JUBILEE OVER MY STIFFENING CORPSE.  
TA: oh my god ju2t 2hut up for two 2econd2.  
CG: WELL.  
CG: I’M LISTENING.  
CG: COME ON, NOW YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE I’M TALKING TO. I HAD TO EXIT OUT OF THAT OTHER CONVERSATION JUST SO I COULD CONCENTRATE ON ONE SHITTY INANE ISSUE AT A TIME.  
TA: who were you talkiing two?  
CG: ERIDAN.  
CG: YOU TOTALLY FUCKED HIM OVER THE OTHER DAY, BY THE WAY.  
CG: HE’S MORE OF A PATHETIC WRECK THAN USUAL.  
TA: 2hiit, he told you? ii 2hould’ve figured ii gue22.  
TA: that’2  
TA: kiind of what ii wanted two talk two you about actually.  
CG: YEAH?  
TA: yeah.  
TA: iit’2 ju2t  
TA: ii’ve been thiinkiing about all that 2hiit.  
TA: and you know 2ettiing a2iide the fact that ampora’2 a fuckiing 2tupiid, 2elfii2h nook2taiin wiith a creepy-a22 hatecru2h on me…  
CG: OF COURSE.  
TA: ii don’t know, ii’ve ju2t been thiinkiing about iit and ii  
TA: kiind of feel like ii wa2 a liittle biit of an a22hole about iit.  
CG: DUDE, YOU WERE A COMPLETE ASSHOLE ABOUT IT.  
TA: 2hiit, you really thiink 2o?  
CG: WELL, YEAH DUDE.  
CG: I MEAN, I KNOW HE’S ERIDAN AND KIND OF CREEPY AND TACTLESS AND EVERYTHING, BUT HE WAS BEING SERIOUS ABOUT IT.  
CG: AND YOU DID, LIKE, LAUGH AT HIM.  
TA: augh, 2hiit!  
TA: ii’m 2uch a fuckiing iidiiot.  
TA: how can ii be the biigge2t a22hole on this entire meteor?  
TA: out of our entiire fuckiing triibe of a22holes.  
TA: god, iit’s all ampora’2 fault.  
TA: ii can’t BELIIEVE ii let that dumba22 nook2taiin triick me iinto actiing liike 2uch an iidiiot.  
CG: UH, I’M NOT SURE HE ACTUALLY TRICKED YOU INTO DOING ANYTHING.  
CG: I THINK YOU KIND OF DID THAT ON YOUR OWN.  
TA: god, ii acted liike 2uch an uncool piiece of 2hiit.  
TA: and fi2hbreath fuckiing 2aw iit.  
TA: FUCK, how ii2 thii2 nook2niiffer makiing me feel liike the hiigh exalted emperor of all the nook2niiffers.  
TA: AUGH, II JU2T FUCKIING HATE THAT A22HOLE SO FUCKIING MUCH, WHY DOE2 THII2 EVEN HAVE TWO BE HAPPENIING.  
CG: WOAH, CALM THE FUCK DOWN, SOLLUX.  
CG: WHAT THE EVERLOVING HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?  
TA: ugh, ii don’t glubbiing know.  
TA: ii’m ju2t fru2trated and ii’m 2tartiing two get a headache.  
CG: GOD, YOU DON’T KNOW HOW FUCKING ANNOYING IT IS THAT FEFERI’S FISH PUNS ARE RUBBING OFF ON YOU.  
CG: BUT ANYWAY.  
CG: SHIT, IF IT’S SERIOUSLY BUGGING YOU THAT MUCH  
CG: UH, I GUESS I CAN TALK TO ERIDAN MORE ABOUT IT OR SOMETHING?  
CG: EVEN THOUGH THIS WHOLE SITUATION IS SO RETARDED I CAN’T EVEN SEE STRAIGHT.  
TA: no  
TA: ju2t no.  
TA: ii thiink ii need to ju2t work thii2 out on my own.  
TA: gaiin some of my glubbiing diigniity back, you know?  
CG: WHATEVER, DUDE.  
TA: 2hiit, ii gotta go, my head ii2 kiilliing me.  
TA: ii’ll talk two you later.  
CG: LATER, ASSHOLE. 

twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

\----

Sollux groaned loudly as he pushed himself away from his computer, bringing a hand up to his temple to attempt to rub out the throbbing pain he was experiencing. The troll sitting beside him immediately took notice to his condition. She turned to him, her eyes flickering with worry and her gills twitching slightly.

“Are you okay, Sollux?” Feferi asked.

Sollux turned to look at her as well, hand still to his head. He saw the worried expression on her face and almost smiled, but tried to keep it in for the sake of looking cool. He may not have done a good job at that. “Nah, I’m cool, FF.” He answered evenly. “There’th jutht been… a lot of thhit going on lately, you know?”

Sollux hadn’t mentioned any of that whole Eridan fiasco to Feferi. It was difficult, considering she had been right next to him as the dreaded conversation had been happening, but luckily her eyes never wandered from her own screen (or from Sollux himself, he remembered a little smugly). He had been talking to her almost nonstop since they had entered the Veil, always managing to muster up a little more patience in between fixing computers for her, but he just didn’t want to tell her this. He didn’t want to risk her feeling awkward about the whole thing, despite the fact that she seemed absolutely enthralled to not have the weight of her moirail on her shoulders anymore. Well, maybe it wasn’t so much about her feeling awkward, as it was Sollux. He didn’t even know what he thought about the whole thing, honestly. The whole situation just felt incredibly weird to him, and he didn’t really feel like dragging Feferi into that whole weirdness. Especially not since he had turned down Eridan’s advances; there was no need for her to be dragged into this.

Then Sollux thought about Eridan again, and he almost grimaced, but tried to keep it in for the sake of looking cool. He didn’t think he did a very good job at that, either.

Especially not since Feferi could read him like a book. She frowned, blinking a few times before speaking very deliberately and carefully. “Are you sure there’s not something you’re not telling me? Not anything FISHY going on?” She always rose her voice whenever she dropped a fish pun, as if she wanted to make sure that as many trolls as possible could hear it and be aware that, yes, Feferi Peixes was still doing the whole nautical themed thing. Sollux always acted like it annoyed him, which most of the time it honestly did, but he had grudgingly come to find it endearing, even moreso since it had begun to rub off on him.

Sollux shook his head, trying to seem convincing despite the fact that he was almost cringing from the pain in his head. “It’th fine, it’th fine,” he chanted a little impatiently. He quickly tried to think of an excuse to leave. “I think I jutht need to find thomeplathe to thleep or thomething. Thomeplathe that’th not a thitty pile of hornth.”

Feferi blinked, her face a mask of worry, but after a second of thought she clicked her tongue and hesitantly replied, “Okaaaaaay… If you say so, Sollux.”

Sollux was annoyed beyond belief with himself for feeling so bad for lying to her, but he shook it off long enough to give Feferi one last reassuring “I’m fine,” before getting out of there.

Sollux almost went straight for Eridan’s room, figuring that since he hadn’t seen him out with the others in a while he was probably off sulking by himself somewhere. At first he hadn’t considered that Eridan had any place to go other than his own lodgings. But then Sollux found himself stopping short of the transportalizer, remembering something. He scoffed to himself as he thought of it, and turned on his heel to the door on the other side of the room.

As it slid open, he thought about how utterly stupid was to have a “secret room” that everyone knew about. He also wondered why the fuck so many of these trolls had inexplicable infatuations with piles of things. Regardless, as he entered the room, he found his hunch had been correct. There in the corner was the big, useless pile of shit that Sollux had been looking for. And underneath Eridan was an even bigger pile of the seadweller’s shitty wands.

Eridan was sitting on the pile facing slightly away from Sollux, staring blankly towards the other corner of the room. (Because of this, Eridan had not yet noticed the yellow-blood.) The highblood had curled up into a pitiful ball, hugging his knees to his chest. He had his own cape wrapped around himself as if it were a blanket, and somehow had managed to tuck his chin into the black and blue scarf around his neck.

Just seeing the prissy little cretin desperately retreating inward was enough to make Sollux’s blood boil. He suddenly remembered exactly how much Eridan managed to annoy the ever loving shit out of him and began to wonder why he even wanted to apologize in the first place. He was nearly tempted to just leave the poor bastard alone again, since he hadn’t even noticed him yet anyway, and just leave him to stew in his own misery.

But no. Despite the fact that it was Eridan, Sollux still miraculously felt like an asshole about the whole thing. Possibly because, as Karkat had stated, he actually had acted like a asshole. Sollux couldn’t deny that sometimes (dare he say, about half the time) he would get testy and completely flip his shit at things. He knew when he was acting completely out of turn, but he could very rarely stop it as it happened, and always felt like a dick about it after the mood left him. Sollux hated himself when he got like that, and the irony was that when he flipped the switch to full-out bitch mode, he actually reminded himself of Eridan. That prissy, fishy wretch was the one who constantly undermined people, the one who had to tear apart and laugh at others’ insecurities to feel better about his own. The truth was that, and this was the most frustrating part of it all, Eridan probably deserved a little taste of his own medicine.

But Sollux just couldn’t leave it at that. No matter how flip-ways you turned it, he knew he’d always feel bad about the outburst in the end. And the reason he felt bad was because he knew he was better than that. He was better than Eridan. He knew that. And because he knew that so well, he was going to be the one to take the high road: he would apologize to the whiny, pompous seadweller who couldn’t take what he dished out to others. And he would only do this because of just how much he fucking hated Eridan. He would apologize hoping Eridan would know Sollux was doing this despite how much he hated him, and despite the fact that he had every right not to apologize. Then maybe, knowing that, Eridan would be able to see how much better a “stupid little gutter-blood” could be than a shitty seadwelling “Prince of Hope.” Maybe he would finally realize what a gargantuan fuckass he truly was.

It did occur very briefly to Sollux that his main motivation for apologizing was hoping that Eridan would end up feeling even worse about himself. But only briefly.

Sollux cleared his throat then, realizing that he had just been staring at Eridan for at least three minutes in the hopes that he would notice him on his own. So much for that.

Eridan jumped at the sudden intrusion of sound echoing through the small room and whipped his head towards Sollux, eyes wide. The seadweller had removed his glasses and set them aside, so Sollux immediately saw the puffy, purple bags underneath his eyes. Fuck.

Eridan had looked almost hopeful as he flipped around to look at his intruder, but as soon as his gaze fell on Sollux the hope was quickly replaced with scorn, and he immediately looked away with a scowl on his face. “Go away,” Eridan spat. The venom his voice carried was slightly undercut by the weak sniff that followed.

Sollux grit his teeth, fighting the urge to acquiesce with the seadweller’s ever-so-polite request, and simply walked toward him. “Look, fithhtick, I jutht wanted to talk.”

“Well, I don’t.” Eridan snapped back. He was trying to look and sound fierce, but Sollux could hear his voice getting shakier with every word and his hateful sneer slowly faltering to a quivery pout. The psionic had stopped directly in front of Eridan, but the highblood refused to look up at him, casting his gaze downward and to the side. “I don’t wanna talk about what a insufferable douchefuck you are, an’ I don’t wanna talk about how fuckin’ great it is bein’ able to be with Fef and… and fucking laughin’ at me! I… I don’t wanna hear anything comin’ outta your shitty lispy face!” Sollux could feel his patience already running on empty and he just wanted to get this over with, but Eridan was babbling now, not allowing him to get a word in edgewise. “I don’t wanna talk to anyone right now; if they don’t wanna talk to me, I sure as hell don’t wanna talk to any a’ them either. I just wanna sit here by myself on this fuckin’ shitty pile of wands that keep fuckin’ pokin’ me in the ass, ‘cause I just wanna sit here an’ be miserable for awhile without some grubfisting gutterblood comin’ in here to tell me—”

“Holy thit, I’m thorry!” Sollux had finally lost all of his patience, and the way he suddenly all but screamed at Eridan to be heard over the noise hardly sounded apologetic. But it was enough to garner Eridan’s attention.

The seadweller’s eyes immediately widened and he suddenly looked up at the yellow-blooded troll, confused. Sollux could see a watery purple glaze forming over his eyes, and tears threatened to well up at the corners. Dumbfounded, all Eridan could manage to say was a choked, “Wh… what?”

Sollux grimaced at how pitiful the seadweller looked just then, and clenched his fists in frustration, relaxing them with an exhale to prepare himself to speak again. He thought he might puke if he had to look Eridan in the eye as he said this, so he directed his gaze awkwardly to the side before going on. “It’th jutht what I thaid, nookthtain. I’m thorry. I… thouldn’t have laughed at you like that the other day, I guethh. I thtill don’t wanna be your kithmethith and I thtill think you’re weird ath grubfithting hell, but I guethh I wath… kind of being a jerk.” Sollux took a pause and briefly looked back down to Eridan, and upon seeing the woeful look still plastered to his face quickly added, “And don’t you dare fucking cry. If you cry right now, I’m fucking leaving and you can go fitht yourthelf for all I care. I ain’t your fucking luthuth.”

At this, Eridan managed to blink away his stupor and quickly looked away. A bright purple blush began to reach his face as he sniffed and wiped at his eyes. “I’m not gonna fuckin’ cry, you asshole.” He mumbled. After a moment of thought, he also quickly added, “And I don’t need your glubbin’ apology.”

Sollux didn’t even feel the need to argue with Eridan at that point, seeing as how obvious it was that the highblood was just talking out his ass now. But Sollux did it anyway, crossing his arms and fighting the smirk that threatened to curl up the corner of his mouth. “Uh, I think you kind of do, theeing ath you jutht about broke down weeping at my feet after you heard it.”

“I didn’t—” Eridan whipped his head back towards Sollux, and just as he was about to protest, he cut himself off with a thoughtful look on his face. Sollux met his gaze hesitantly, noticing the anger that slowly began to surface in response to whatever he had just thought about. His eyes bore right through Sollux, and his brows furrowed tightly as he glared at the yellow-blood. Sollux briefly wondered how that nooksniffer could have the audacity to look at him like that right after he had come and apologized, and he met Eridan’s glare with his own, his eyes beginning to glow with the urge to just blast the seadweller straight through the wall.

For a while they both just stood there glaring at each other, and Sollux wasn’t sure how long it had been by the time Eridan startled him by breaking the silence.

“Did you…” Eridan started, his voiced already trailing off as if he couldn’t pick his words out right. “You…. Did… you show that to Fef?”

His voice got quieter at the last part, and Sollux wasn’t sure he had heard him correctly. “What?”

“Did. You. Show it. To Fef.” This time he spoke louder, more deliberate.

“Thow her what?”

“The… the log.”

Sollux let the words and their meaning sink in, and then all he could do was let out a disbelieving scoff. “Did I…? Holy glubbing hell, no! How big of a fucking athhhole do you think I am?” Disbelief unexpectedly turned to anger, and Sollux felt his eyes begin to spark. “No, you dumbathh. That was a private converthathon, and I treated ath thuch becauthe I’m not a complete nookthniffing fuckathh like you are. I came to apologithe becauthe I knew I had to be the bigger troll here, tho I would really fucking apprethiate it if you didn’t drag me down tho I’m at your level, _becauthe I’m fucking not_.”

Eridan’s blush deepened, but the angry glare remained on his face as he stood up abruptly, getting face to face with Sollux. “Well _excuse me_ ,” he snapped back, his voice rising. “Excuse me for thinkin’ that a insufferable mustardblood like you could be insufferable! You had already had a good ol’ laugh at my expense, why wouldn’t I think you’d have a grand time draggin’ in your new glubbin’ _girlfriend_ to join in with you? You know what they say about misery lovin’ company!”

Sollux could feel his eyes throbbing at this point, throbbing with the need to blast some well deserved seadwelling assbag into the next century, and now at this point all he could do was yell uncoolly at the highblood. “You know what, Eridan? Fuck you. Jutht fuck you. Cod forbid I feel like an athhhole for being an athhhole and try to come find your thorry carcath to try to apologithe. Of glubbin’ COURTHE you have to blow it all to hell. WELL THAT’TH THE LATHT CODDAMN TIME I’LL FEEL BAD FOR HURTING YOUR FEELINGTH, FITHBREATH.”

“Yeah? Well thanks a glubbin’ lot for decidin’ to be a condescendin’ dirtscraper, an’ for fuckin’ once in your life decidin’ to be a decent gentletroll when I’m thinkin’ terrible things about you. You’re just the fuckin’ MASTER at doin’ that double reacharound shit just to make me feel like even MORE of a shithead, AREN’T YOU?”

“JEGUTH, I GUETHH I’M THORRY FOR TRYING TO BE FUCKING NITHE.”

“WELL, IT WAS NICE. THAT’S WHY I FUCKIN’ HATE YOU SO MUCH.”

“I WATH JUTHT HOPING THAT IF I APOLOGITHED YOU’D THTOP MOPING AROUND LIKE A MITHERABLE LITTLE GRUB, RUINING EVERYONE’TH DAY WITH YOUR THTUPID, DEPRETHHING FATHE.”

“WELL MAYBE I WILL, SINCE I FEEL BETTER KNOWIN’ THAT YOU’RE THE ONLY ASSHOLE ON THIS METEOR I HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT NOW.”

“GOOD.”

“GREAT.”

“FUCKING FANTATHTIC.”

“IT REALLY IS.”

“WELL THEN, I GUETHH I’LL LEAVE NOW.”

“FINE.”

“OKAY.”

“BYE.”

“THEE YOU LATER, FUCKATHH.” At that, Sollux closed his eyes to keep from blowing up everything in the small space and quickly huffed out of the room.

It was only until he was laying down in his own room, nursing the headache that had unsurprisingly gotten worse, that he would feel like kicking himself up his own ass for how goddamn ridiculous that entire exchange was.

The worst part of it was the excited pounding in his chest that came from the triumph of being able to get in the last word.


	3. Chapter 3

arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling caligulasAquarium [CA]

AG: Heya, fishface!  
CA: wwhat the glub do you wwant  
AG: Still insisting on 8eing cranky with me, huh? 8ooooooooing!  
AG: You know, you don’t have to always 8e such a party pooper just 8ecause I don’t want to 8e your dum8 caliginous affair!  
AG: This is why you’re such a drag. You don’t have the firey passion that it takes to 8e a decent h8m8. You just get all moody and som8er and introverted. Unlike me, who has enough 8lack tar fire in my soul to heat all the irons in this universe and the next!  
AG: So many irons.  
AG: 8ut you’re too down in the dumps to even listen to what I have to say.  
AG: May8e I’m getting in touch with you to give you great news!  
AG: MAY8E I want to tell you that I changed my mind a8out 8eing your kismesis…  
AG: M8Y8E I’m telling you that I want to 8e eternally yours! Like eternally eternally! Like, at least 8 sweeps.  
AG: The universe will trem8le like a small infant hoof8east in the 8lackest shadow of our 8lackest h8d8 lit 8y the 8lackest candlea8ra holding a delicately scented vanilla candle.  
AG: Vaaaaaaaanillaaaaaaaa!  
CA: wwoah wwait  
CA: are you bein serious  
AG: HAHA, NOPE!!!!!!!!  
AG: What a riot! You’re soooooooo easy to 8am8oozle, fishface!  
CA: im leavin  
AG: Aw, don’t do that. Jeez, you’re such a 8ORE!  
AG: You still won’t even listen to what I have to s8y.  
AG: It was SUPER8LY important, too!  
CA: alright  
CA: wwhat is it  
AG: So……..  
AG: While I was just sitting around, minding my own 8usiness, tending all the irons in my fire, of course…  
AG: I heard some talk around this stinking hunk of meteor!  
AG: Some m8y even call it GOSSIP.  
CA: wwhat the glub are you talkin about  
CA: youre actin wweird vvris  
AG: You coy devil, you. :::;)  
AG: What’s this I he8r a8out Mr. Orphaner Dualscar and the nerdy yellow gutter8lood?  
CA: wwhat  
CA: oh cod wwho told you  
CA: howw did you knoww  
AG: It’s pretty o8vious, fishf8ce.  
AG: You wax 8lack for him almost as intensely as you did for me.  
AG: Even though he’s just a stupid dum8 gutter8lood that pro8a8ly doesn’t ev8n h8ve 8ny of the cool doomsd8y devices that I h8ve.  
AG: And he most cert8nly doesn’t h8ve as m8ny irons in his fire as I do!  
AG: SO.  
AG: M8NY.  
AG: IRONS!!!!!!!!  
CA: yes vvris your irons an your fire are both equally marvvelous  
CA: i am completely an painfully awware a this fact  
CA: but it doesn’t matter anywway  
AG: I don’t know, 8ridan……..  
AG: The others h8ve 8een talking.  
AG: Th8y’ve 8een talking a8out he8ring you two fighting all the time.  
AG: All 8y yourselves!  
AG: Sounds like it gets really he8ted. Pretty sc8ndalous, if you ask me! :::;)  
CA: wwell vvris its a good thing no one did then  
CA: wwhy do you care anywway  
AG: H8y, 8ELIEVE me, I don’t!  
AG: I couldn’t c8re l8ss!  
AG: I just th8nk 8t’s WE8RD, is 8ll!  
AG: Why would I 8e 8oth8red?  
AG: 8t’s none of my 8usin8ss 8f you want to move on!  
AG: To a g8tter8looded n8rd, no l8ss!  
AG: 8ut I just th8nk 8t’s m8ghty f8shy 8s 8ll.  
AG: L8KE 8T’S SOME 8NNOY8NG PLOY TO M8KE M8 JE8LOUS OR SOMETH8NG. ::::/  
CA: wwoww vvris maybe back down off the 8 key it might file charges  
AG: >::::(  
CA: wwhat’s your fuckin problem  
CA: i told you none a this matters anywway  
CA: sol turned dowwn my ass just like you did  
CA: like a really long time ago  
CA: i mean the guy hates me still  
CA: just not enough  
AG: Oh.  
AG: Really?  
CA: uh yeah  
AG: …Hahahahahahahaha!  
AG: You poor sap!  
AG: I can’t 8elieve you got turned down 8y a gutter8lood!  
AG: You know I thought this was all some nefarious plot to make me jealous enough to come running 8ack to you.  
AG: And I was thinking that it was just dastardly and underhanded enough to work!  
AG: 8ut it turns out you really are too pathetic to 8e a suita8le h8m8. I should have trusted my gut instincts.  
AG: Haha, what a luckless loser!  
CA: wwoww  
CA: okay my feelins have been sufficiently stirred around trampled on an shat upon at this point  
CA: so im  
CA: gonna go  
CA: bye vvris

caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling arachnidsGrip [AG]

AG: Hm.

\----

arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

AG: Hey, nerd!  
AG: I wanted to talk to you a8out a very important matter.  
AG: There’s 8een some horrendously suspicious 8ehavior going on, and I wanted to dou8le-check with you 8efore I allow this particular iron to a8scond from the fire.  
TA: ugh.  
TA: what do you want?  
TA: ii already have a headache.  
AG: This’ll 8e quick!  
AG: 8ut it’s a8out you and Eridan.  
AG: I just finished talking to him a8out it all, 8ut it left me feeling pretty fucking exacer88ed! You know that pathetic fishy 8astard, though.  
AG: So tell me this:  
TA: no.  
AG: Uh  
AG: Wh8t?  
AG: I didn’t ev8n finish!  
AG: ::::/  
TA: no.  
TA: no.  
TA: NO.  
TA: JU2T NO.  
AG: Hey, w8, what’s your fucking pro8lem all of a sudden?  
TA: ii don’t want to fuckiing talk about eriidan.  
TA: no.  
TA: not now, not evver.  
TA: oh cod ii mean ever  
TA: ii mean oh god.  
TA: waiit no ii  
TA: fuck.  
TA: FUCK.  
TA: NEVERMIIND.  
TA: WHY THE FUCK AM II EVEN 2TIILL TALKIING TWO YOU

twinArmageddons [TA] blocked aracnidsGrip [AG]

\----

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling caligulasAquarium [CA]

CA: hi kan howws it goin  
GA: Hello Eridan  
GA: I Simply Wanted To Inform You That I Was Just Contacted By Vriska  
GA: She Notified Me In A Nigh Indecipherable Flurry Of Viciously Accented 8s That She Plans On Finding You  
GA: And Punching You Square In The Snout  
GA: And Then Doing Similar To Your Computer  
CA: wwhat the fuck  
GA: She Couldnt Be Stopped  
GA: Nor Did I Think It Wise To Attempt To Contain Her In Fear Of What She Could Perform Alternatively In An Attempt To Sate Her Spectacular Rage  
GA: I Just Wanted To Give You Fair Warning  
CA: oh cod shes here already kan help  
GA: It Seems Im A Day Late And A Boonbuck Short  
GA: I Apologize For My Failure As A Moirail And Possible Auspistice  
GA: I Wish To Make Up For This Grievous Behavioral Malfunction  
GA: I Shall Organize A Parade For The Purposes Of Your Remembrance  
GA: Perhaps Erect A Large Statue In Your Honor  
GA: I Am Short In The Ways Of Supplies But I Will Try My Hardest To Make Due For Your Sake  
GA: Eridan Be Honest With Me Am I Developing Some Sort Of Psychological Disease With This Sarcasm  
GA: An Intervention May Be In Order

caligulasAquarium [CA]’s computer was punched square in the snout

GA: Oh

\----

Eridan sniffed pitifully, holding a towel to his nose in an effort to staunch the flow of blood coming from it, grimacing as he pressed a little too hard on the tender, bruising bridge. Equius had graciously let Eridan borrow the towel from him after Eridan had belligerently screeched at him to do so, the blueblood being the closest troll to him after Vriska had punched him.

Eridan could only pray to all the gods in this universe and the next that it was a fresh towel.

At that moment, Eridan couldn’t really care anyway. It just _hurt_ too much for him to do anything. He didn’t think Vriska had broken his nose, but his pride and spirits were another thing. As it was, he had been especially cranky since they had be transported to the Veil, and an unprompted punch in the face just made things worse. After Vriska had left and Eridan had finagled Equius out of a towel, he quickly retreated to his own quarters to nurse at his wounds, and to wonder what the everloving fuck had just happened.

Eridan sniffed again, pouting to himself. He didn’t deserve this. He had to admit, he did deserve some of the bad things that happened to him once in a while; but this was not one of them. He was just sitting there, glubbing around and minding his own business, when Vriska had just walked up to him and popped him in the face unceremoniously. In. The. _Face_. He was lucky his precious glasses hadn’t been broken. No, _she_ was lucky. He was going to punish her for such improper behavior, wasn’t he? Yeah. Maybe later though. When his face didn’t hurt so bad. He just couldn’t believe that bitch had hit him without having the decency to hate snog him afterwards.

As he thought about what could have possibly prompted such an attack, he suddenly began to raise up his lip in a snarl. He soon found that this movement strained his injury, and he dropped it with shrill whine. But he was still extremely angry, you just had to trust him.

He tried to make the angriest pout he could as he remembered what Vriska had been babbling before she punched him in the face. Something along the lines of “I don’t know, DUALSCAR, doncha think Sollux’s actin’ kinda FIIIIIIIISHYYYYYYYY?”

Eridan didn’t know exactly what that meant, and he really didn’t have the energy to think about it for too long, so he immediately jumped to the conclusion that this was all Sollux’s fault.

It had been quite a few weeks since Eridan had confessed to Sollux about his caliginous intents, and since the lowblood had apologized for turning him down so roughly. However, Eridan was far too stubborn to let Sollux off the hook that easily, nor did he have the motivation to stop harassing the psionic. He couldn’t let Sollux out of his sights just yet. Whether this was because Eridan was still waxing hardcore black for him or because of how close Sollux had gotten to Feferi was uncertain. Probably both. But honestly Eridan had been feeling way too many many feelings lately, and scarcely knew how to handle any of them. Eridan didn’t even know what the glub he was thinking these days. He was beginning to imagine whatever section of his think pan responsible for working through these emotions had simply shut down from frantic over-usage.

But regardless, he had been quick to pick a fight with Sollux over the last few weeks. Sollux chose to ignore it at first, as Eridan had unfortunately expected. And he hated being ignored. So he continued to pester Sollux, more frequently, and about more nonsensical things. He harassed Sollux day in and day out until he was purple in the face, and just when he felt like he couldn’t keep it up anymore, when he felt like just quitting and leaving to go weep over his wand pile by himself _forever_ —

Sollux fought back. Well, that sounds a bit dramatic. But that’s what it felt like to Eridan the first time Sollux had finally shot back at one of the seadweller’s complaints with a snippy comment of his own. Eridan had retreated to his wing to lay down for the remainder of the day.

After that, Sollux had seemed to lose his patience, and things gradually became more heated as time went on. He felt pathetic for thinking it, but in a weird way Eridan was grateful for it. Even if Sollux didn’t hate him a romantic way, it was strangely invigorating having someone to argue with, someone you wanted to spend every waking minute trying to prove wrong, humiliate, degrade, show up, etcetera. Eridan guessed that that must be what black romance was in the end. It was still pretty confusing for young trolls like them, but when it came right down to it Sollux ironically was the only thing Eridan was still waking up for in the mornings. Feferi had run off, no one else wanted to bother with him, he had no quadrants filled; his life, presently, was just overall a hot mess.

At this point, the only thing Eridan could count on was that he hated Sollux Captor. And that Sollux, romantically or otherwise, hated him back. That’s why Eridan felt a sense of satisfaction when the yellowblood argued with him.

And it was also why it hit him all the harder when Sollux began ignoring him again. It had happened just a few days before. After a long while of steady rivalry, Sollux suddenly went back to paying little heed to Eridan. He barely looked up at him when they were in the same room, he wouldn’t answer if Eridan started talking to him, he stopped answering the seadweller’s challenges on Trollian; it was like he never even existed.

Eridan had been mopey enough dealing with this fact as it was, but this mishap today was just going too far. Sollux must have egged Vriska on to do this. He must have.

 _Figures. Dirtscrapin’ piece a’ trash don’t even care enough to beat the crap out of me himself._ Eridan bit his lip at the thought, and brought the towel away from his face to wring it anxiously in his hands.

No. No, no, no. This was the last straw. Eridan couldn’t handle this wacky roller coaster a’ emotions much longer. He shouldn’t have to. He was royalty, for fuck’s sake! A glubbin’ prince! It was ridiculous that the gutterblood had even put him through this for so long already. No, Eridan finally had to put his foot down.

He stood up then, definitively, dropping the towel and leaving it on the ground behind him. He made sure he had his wand on him before huffing to the transportalizer that led to the main hall. He then proceeded to the transportalizer that led to Sollux’s chambers, figuring that even if Sollux wasn’t there he could have a little fun and mess with the lowblood’s stuff. He didn’t hesitate to step onto the pad, and almost instantly materialized into Sollux’s room. He appeared with a hand on his hip and an indignant pout, looking like he owned the place, and just stood there for a minute if he were the opening act to some grand production. He slumped over in disappointment after a few moments of stillness, realizing that Sollux wasn’t there.

He stepped off the pad with a huff, wondering how Sollux could have the gall not to be there when Eridan was ready to dramatically confront him. In order to keep from moping, he busied himself with looking around the room he had appeared him. It was a horrendously plain little space, as Eridan expected from a bore like Sollux (although in reality Eridan had not done much with his quarters either). He noted, however, that Sollux was keeping multiple spare computers and parts here, perhaps extra things that he had found around the building. Pieces of hardware were hastily stacked atop one another and seemingly unorganized. Some of the computers looked to be in decent working condition, but most were completely broken down, tipped carelessly on their side, or even hollowed out and harvested of any useful parts. Eridan regarded these objects with disgust, finding Sollux’s hobby to be distasteful, but it was an odd feeling, something familiar and therefore… comfortable. The face he made was some hellish concoction of a sneer and a grimace, a smirk that just _felt_ stupid, and he reserved himself to a simple frown after he realized he was doing it.

Eridan walked over to one of the computers that looked barely operable and studied it carefully, dragging a finger across the top of it and scowling at the dust it picked up. He supposed he could delve deeper into Sollux’s chambers and actually look for the psionic. If he wasn’t there, then he would scour the entire meteor, make sure every nook and cranny was 100% Captor-free before moving forward, would even risk going into Feferi’s chambers, despite how likely it was to be a cacophonous cesspool of thick, sticky, adolescent sexual tension if Sollux did end up being in there.

Or he could stay here for a while and try to make this computer explode.

Eridan ran his tongue over his top lip concentration as he tried to dig the wand out of his pants pocket. He pulled it out and aimed it at the computer mercilessly, smirking to himself.

Sollux thought he was so cool with his stupid hacker schtick and all his shitty computers. Well, he won’t be so cool when his computer gets blown up right in its piece a’ crap face. Wait until you get a taste of what Eridan Coddamn Ampora can dish out, you stupid technological marvel oh fuck why was his wand glowing blue and red.

Before Eridan could even think about what was happening, an eerie aura enveloped his wand and the object was promptly yanked from his hand by an unseen force. He made a sound of protest as the wand flew behind him, and he whipped his head around to see Sollux standing a few feet away. The wand had stopped in midair to float beside the psionic’s head, but Sollux didn’t acknowledge it as he kept a steady glare locked onto Eridan.

Sollux spoke slowly and deliberately, in a low rasp that kind of sent a shiver down Eridan’s spine. “Who. The fuck. Thaid you could come in here?”

For a split second Eridan actually had the sense to be wary of Sollux’s tone, almost fearful. But he quickly gathered up his ego and unfounded courage as he scowled. “Give it back.” He replied just as venomously, puffing out his chest and trying to sound dignified. It was at times like this he tried to drop the odd, annoying drawl he had to his accent. He hated the way he talked and could control it if he really tried, but the only time he couldn’t hold it back was when he was really upset. Unfortunately, Eridan was upset most of the time, about a lot of things. But right now, he was just in control enough to pull it off. “And I don’t need a fucking mustardblood’s permission to go wherever the glub I want.”

Sollux simply looked at him like he was exhausted, not at all impressed by the seadweller’s improved diction. “Firtht of all: no.” With a light flick of his wrist, he suddenly launched the wand by his head into a dark corner of the room, the red-blue glow dissipating as the object whistled helplessly through the air and out of sight. Sollux kept his eyes on Eridan the entire time, barely even acknowledging his actions before speaking again. “Thecond of all: no. Get out.”

Eridan’s eyes widened as he tried to launch himself towards the direction where Sollux had sent his wand. “No! Give it back!” He whined pitifully.

Sollux literally shrunk back when Eridan moved, and before the seadweller knew what was happening he was enveloped by the same colorful, eerie aura that had entrapped his wand, and was pushed back and lifted off the ground a few inches.

“Don’t fucking touch me!” Sollux shouted angrily, keeping a good distance between himself and Eridan.

Eridan bristled in anger, baring his teeth in a snarl. “I wasn’t fuckin’ tryin’ to, you grubfistin’ piece a’ shit!” His true accent was now back in full force, but he didn’t even care. “You know it’s really fuckin’ rude to treat someone else’s piece a’ property like that, but I wouldn’t expect any better a’ a stupid glubbin’ mustardblood like you! An’… an’… it’s glubbin’ mine an’ I want it back!” To his dismay his snarl devolved into a furious pout, and his voice rose in pitch to a whine. “So… so… Gimme!”

“You were about to blow up my fucking computer!” Sollux replied, a look of indignant disbelief on his face.

“Gimmeeeeeee!”

“No. Fuck you,” Sollux said curtly, though lowered Eridan to the ground and loosened his hold on the purple-blood. “Why the hell did you even come in here anyway?”

Eridan blinked, suddenly remembering himself, and merely pointed at his face expectantly, knowing the large bruise and crusted blood around his nose would be easily noticed.

Sollux stared at him in confusion. “…What?”

Eridan pouted and tried pointing harder.

“…What am I thuppothed to be looking at here?”

“Are you fuckin’ blind?”

“Thtop acting like a retard and tell me what you want me to thee.”

“My nose, you dirtscapin’ fuck monger! It’s glubbin’ obvious.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, fuckin’ ‘oh’.”

Sollux let a smirk cross his face suddenly. “I jutht thought you hadn’t put on your makeup yet.”

“Ha. Fuckin’. Ha. _Tholluckth_.” Eridan mocked, absolutely not amused. He continued indignantly: “Do you know who did this?”

Sollux rolled his eyes. “Who, Eridan? Who did thith?”

“Vriska.” Eridan waited to see a glimpse of recognition fall across Sollux’s face, or a glimpse of guilt, triumph, cockiness, _anything_.

But Sollux only blinked blankly at the seadweller. “Good for her?”

Eridan clenched his fists at his sides, his frustration coming up and feeling heavy behind his eyes. Don’t fucking cry, coddammit, don’t give the nooksniffer the satisfaction. “You fuckin’ put her up to this, didn’t you?”

Sollux scoffed in surprise. “Where the fuck did that come from? I didn’t tell Vrithka to do anything. Why would you-”

“She was fuckin’ talkin’ about you, asshole!” Eridan interrupted, scowling. “Why the hell else would she mention you if you didn’t have anythin’ to do with it?”

Sollux raised his eyebrows, looking honestly confused and vindicated, and the sight was enough to make Eridan’s blood boil. “Thhit, Eridan, calm down. I didn’t tell to Vrithka to do anything. Even if I did want to thee your fathe punched in, I wouldn’t glubbing thhirk the duty off on thomeone else. I’m not a coward like you. I haven’t even talked to Vrithka-” The psionic’s hold on Eridan was released completely as Sollux suddenly cut himself off, and a look of horrified recognition briefly crossed his face. It disappeared as quickly as it had surfaced, only shown itself for merely a fraction of a second. But a fraction of a second was all Eridan needed.

The purple-blood’s brow furrowed in rage, and the weight behind his eyes grew heavier. “You. Fuckin’. _Bastard_.” Eridan growled, spitting out the last word like it was too bitter to hold onto any longer.

One thing Eridan could say about Sollux Captor was that the troll kept a good poker face. “What?” He pretended to still be in disbelief, still uninterested, pretended that Eridan couldn’t possibly have seen that stupid-ass, guilt-ridden look on his face.

“I fuckin’ knew it,” Eridan spat lowly. He hoped the words weren’t undercut by his disbelieving tone, a tone that gave away how much he had been hopefully denying the fact to be true.

Sollux glared back him, but Eridan could see his façade wavering as he spoke. “No, you don’t know thhit. I told you I didn’t tell Vrithka to do anything.”

“Shut up.” Eridan realized now that he was out of Sollux’s control, that he could try to attack him, or go for his wand. Sollux might be too distracted with being a lying asshole to stop him in time. But Eridan couldn’t move, could only stand there paralyzed with anger.

Sollux was becoming wary, noticing a change in Eridan but not exactly knowing what it was. He almost looked sheepish as he continued, “Look… Eridan. What Vrithka doeth ithn’t my fucking problem. I don’t control her, and I don’t even want to. Tho why would I-”

“I FUCKIN’ TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP.” Eridan himself was almost surprised at the level of his own voice, and he saw Sollux completely freeze as soon he had spoken up. “I. AM. FUCKING. _SICK_. OF YOUR SHIT.”

Sollux remained silent, standing there stupidly with his eyes wide, and Eridan could feel tears welling up at the corners of his. Desperately trying to keep them in, he gritted his teeth and lowered his voice slightly, though the venom was still dangerously evident. “ _What is your fuckin’ problem_?”

At this, Sollux seemed to shake away his stupor, and the anger returned to his face. “ _My_ problem?” He repeated incredulously, and Eridan could see his eyes beginning to spark. “How about what’th _your_ problem?”

Eridan blinked at him in disbelief, floored that he could even ask that. “ _You_ fuckin’ are, you asshole!”

“Well, I don’t-”

“No. I’m fuckin’ serious, you _do not_ get to glubbin’ talk right now,” Eridan interrupted quickly. Every instinct screamed at him to charge at Sollux, to hurt him as bad as he was hurting right now, but Eridan could not bring himself to move. He could only stand there, shaking in rage, letting the words pour out. “It’s all your fuckin’ fault. It’s your fault I’m fuckin’ miserable right now. First you gotta take Fef away from me like a huge fuckin’ douchewad, an’ she couldn’t even stand bein’ my moirail, an’ she said we can just be friends but she hardly even talks to me anymore ‘cause… ‘cause…” Eridan’s voice trailed off as his voice cracked, but he couldn’t stop now. “’Cause she’s too glubbin’ busy talkin’ to you.

“An- an’ then I genuinely feel somethin’ black towards you, an’ you just fuckin’ laugh at me, but then you have to apologize like a fuckin’ asshole…. An’ you don’t feel the same, so I just gotta keep buggin’ you but you ignore me like everyone fuckin’ else-” Eridan cut himself off suddenly as he felt a single tear spill over and quickly went to wipe it away, but he almost didn’t care anymore, didn’t care that he looked like a pitiful blubbering mess. “An’ you fuckin’ ignore me, ‘cause everyone fuckin’ ignores me. But- but- but then you started arguin’ with me. An’… an’… it’s fuckin’ stupid, and I fuckin’ hate you, but maybe it felt fuckin’ okay, knowin’ that there was ONE FUCKIN’ TROLL on this entire fuckin’ rock who wouldn’t fuckin’ ignore me if I tried talkin’ to you.” To his dismay, a weak sob escaped his throat, and more tears fell. He lamely wiped at his face with his sleeve, his words becoming more choked and indecipherable as he went on. “An’- an’, I was startin’ to feel okay about everythin’, I really was, Sol. An’ then all a’ a sudden you- you just fuckin’ ignore me again. Like everyone fuckin’ else, an’- An’ then you wanna kick me when I’m down, an’… you don’ even have th’ fuckin’ courtesy to do it on your own time.”

The entire time Sollux was just watching Eridan carefully, his expression unreadable through the seadweller’s tears, and even as his babbling quietly tapered off Sollux stood silent for a little while longer to make sure he was done. When it was quiet for a few moments, save for Eridan’s soft whimpers and shuddering breaths, only then did Sollux react.

“You make me thsick, you know that?” The unabashed bitterness to the psionic’s voice made Eridan shudder, and he couldn’t even pinpoint the feeling he was shuddering with. “Theriouthly. You’ve got thome fucking problemth. You think I’m ruining your life? How about thith? Thtop blaming other people for being a fucked-up methh. Why don’t you jutht fucking let go of Feferi, by the way. Thhe didn’t dump you becauthe of me. Thhe dumped you becauthe you’re jutht a high-thtrung fucking blubbering methh.” A small smirk fell across his lips, and Eridan swore it felt like his next words were literally stabbing him through the heart. “Thhe wath jutht lucky enough to have a real troll thtand up to take your plathe.”

At that point, Eridan stopped crying. He felt his tears dry up, his self-pity disappear, his grief pass, and his loneliness momentarily crumble.

The only thing he could feel now was rage.

He finally found it in himself to move his legs, and he immediately stormed towards the lowblood. “YOU FUCKIN’ PIECE A’ SHIT!” He screeched. Sollux obviously was caught off-guard by the sudden moment, because he didn’t even make a move to stop him, and before he could gather himself Eridan was already there, grabbing fistfuls of the psionic’s shirt in his hands.

If Eridan hadn’t been so concentrated on his anger, he may have noticed how odd it was that Sollux did nothing to defend himself against the seadweller’s grip, only began shrinking backwards wildly while panic took over his features. “I thaid don’t fucking touch me, athhhole!”

Eridan didn’t listen, and he followed Sollux’s backward retreat until he almost had him up against the wall, and he started screaming in his face. “You know what?! FINE! Fine, you can fuckin’ have Fef, an’ you both can fuckin’ be a couple a’ fuckin’ grubfistin’ welps the rest a’ your fuckin’ life! SEE IF I FUCKIN’ CARE. I hope you an’… an’… that fuckin’ WHORE are real fuckin’ happy together-”

Eridan was too livid to process what was happening as Sollux suddenly cocked his right arm back, his hand balled into a fist. So he didn’t react as Sollux punched him in the side of his face, his fist clipping Eridan’s left cheek. Eridan was aware that the hit was powerful enough that his glasses had flown off, and heard them clatter to the floor and slide against the metal. But the pain only set in once Eridan had fallen back against the floor in shock, and suddenly he was staring up and Sollux’s enraged face and coddammit his face fucking _hurt_.

“No.” Sollux snapped, the electricity in his eyes sparking dangerously behind his glasses. He reached down and grabbed Eridan’s scarf with one hand, pulling upwards on it and making Eridan choke slightly as he scrambled to stand up to get his breath back. Once he was up, Sollux quickly grabbed onto his shirt with both hands and looked him dead in the eye. “You don’t”—he suddenly whipped them both around, so that Eridan was now the one with his back to the wall—“fucking get”—he shoved Eridan hard into the wall, and the seadweller gasped as the unforgiving metal ground into his back and drove all the air out of him—“TO FUCKING CALL HER THAT.” And suddenly, Eridan was cornered, pushed back into the wall by Sollux’s weight alone, and the psionic was right there, screaming in his face, which was now throbbing like all fucking hell.

It all happened so quickly, and Eridan was still in shock as Sollux glowered at him furiously from this position. This close, with his eyes open wide, he could see every twitching muscle in the other troll’s face, twitching in rage and pent-up frustration that was just begging to be let out. Eridan was actually a little scared by it, scared that Sollux would want to punch him again, and again, and again, until he was just a bloody, pulpy mess.

He remained still in tense fear as Sollux snarled at him, not even able to close his eyes to whatever horrible wrath he was about to suffer next. Sollux was pushing hard into the seadweller’s chest, so hard that it was somewhat difficult to breath, and between that and the yellowblood’s rage they were both panting. The heat of Sollux’s breath made Eridan shudder, and once again he was unable to pinpoint the emotion leading to the shudder. Their faces were already close, and Eridan felt hopelessly closed in as Sollux moved even closer, their noses almost touching and his breathing becoming even hotter on the seadweller’s face. Sollux was a little shorter than Eridan, so the purpleblood was looking down while Sollux looked up, matching his glare to Eridan’s wide-eyed stare. Sollux’s breath, so close and so hot, was hitting the bridge of Eridan’s nose squarely, and had been since he was pushed into the wall. But Sollux wavered suddenly, and although Eridan was unable to read the expression on his face from this angle, he felt the psionic’s hot breaths shift positions. He seemed to be looking at the fresh wound he had inflicted to the seadweller’s face, as the hot sensation fell over the newly sensitive area. He then slowly moved his head downward, the hotness leaving a trail on Eridan’s cheek that made him pant even heavier. He finally felt that hot, humid breath coming towards his mouth, felt Sollux hovering there. What was only a few seconds felt like a lifetime, a lifetime of feeling those heated breaths against his lips, his teeth, his tongue. He felt their breaths intermingling, making the air around them almost unbearably hot, and the heat traveled to Eridan’s face in a purple blush. And then the breathing went away, and Eridan’s lips were covered by a new source of heat because suddenly, just like that, Sollux was there.

Sollux was kissing him. Eridan made a noise of surprise when the realization hit him, the sound muffled by Sollux’s mouth. He kept his eyes wide open and raised his hands awkwardly, as if he was going to do something, but…. Eridan knew he was still angry with Sollux. Oh, he was absolutely livid. But as he watched the sight in front of him – Sollux fervently mashing his lips against Eridan’s, his eyes closed but brow still furrowed in irritation; as if the yellowblood was challenging him with his ardor, was just daring Eridan to kiss back – Eridan found himself… redirecting his passion. It was then that Sollux pulled back slightly for moment, only far away and for long enough to bare his teeth in frustration, and he pushed them against Eridan’s lips slightly. He let out a growl, a fucking _growl_ , low in his throat and completely laced with impatience. The sound made Eridan gasp quietly, and he could feel his gills twitching spastically as his entire body went hot.

When Sollux put his lips back on Eridan’s, the seadweller was now more than willing to reciprocate. He closed his eyes, his hands, which were still hovering in the air, flying to take hold of Sollux’s face. The yellowblood’s cheeks felt hot to the touch, and Eridan wondered if he was as flushed as he was. He used his new grip on Sollux’s face to gain some leverage as he pushed back against the kiss, moaning slightly around the lips in his. Sollux still had Eridan pushed up against the wall, pinned at his shoulders, so he had to crane his neck forward to be able to gain any dominance. The psionic moaned back at the challenge, the sound buzzing pleasantly through Eridan’s mouth.

Eridan sucked at Sollux’s bottom lip heatedly, rubbing the other troll’s cheeks with his thumbs and occasionally letting out a small whimper into the kiss. He decided to try opening his mouth a little wider, and as he did so he let his tongue dart out and ran it against Sollux’s lip slowly. Sollux gasped lightly, pulling away a bit as he did so. When the moist hotness left his mouth, Eridan was immediately panting again, already worn out and breathless. He dipped his head only to bump his forehead clumsily against Sollux’s. The impact made him open his eyes half way, and he looked down past the other troll’s blue and red shades to see his eyes still closed. But then, as if he had felt Eridan open his, Sollux’s own bifurcated eyes revealed themselves from behind his lids, and for the first time since he’d met him Eridan realized that he was looking at him straight in the eyes.

They were both panting, and that was the only sound in the room for a moment, until Sollux opened his mouth to try to speak. “Oh-” It seemed as if he couldn’t get his thoughts into diction and the word caught in his throat. He tried again, and quietly breathed, “Oh my god.”

Eridan thought this sounded like a good thing, and he almost went back in for more before he realized that Sollux had suddenly grown stiff, and a look of dread slowly took over his features. “Oh my god.” He repeated. This time the statement sounded less dreamy, and more like Sollux had just seen a rabid pouncebeast take down and casually maul the cutest baby grub he had ever seen.

Eridan was significantly less confident about where this was going now.

Sollux was still holding onto Eridan as he began to back up, taking a step away as he looked at the seadweller in horror. “You- you have to leave,” Sollux sputtered.

Eridan blinked at him in confusion, still feeling too hot and bothered to be able to fully process what was happening. “Wh-what?”

Eridan didn’t even know how Sollux had gotten off him so quickly, but suddenly the psionic had released the death grip he had on Eridan’s shirt and all but leapt at least five feet away from him, and was still backing up in a panic. “You have to leave,” Sollux repeated. His eyes started sparking then, and he began looking around the room frantically. His eyes fell upon Eridan’s glasses, laying almost forgotten on the metal floor, and something distant, Eridan’s wand, in the corner. Suddenly, both objects were levitating in a red-blue aura and were thrown haphazardly towards Eridan in a rush. As the seadweller tried to catch his things, his glasses whacking him on the side of the head and his wand nearly stabbing him in the shoulder, Sollux continued speaking. “You have to leave,” he repeated, his words nearly becoming an urgent chant. “You have to leave, you have to leave, oh my god, oh my GOD, YOU HAVE TO FUCKING LEAVE.”

Eridan now held onto his things awkwardly, not even able to put on his glasses with how utterly dumbstruck he was. “S-sol, what are you- Why did-”

Eridan noticed the psionic’s eyes glowing and sparking violently a little too late. The other troll proceeded to flip his fucking shit. “GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT.” As Sollux screamed at him, Eridan suddenly felt himself being pushed roughly towards the transportalizer pad by an angry, invisible force, and he couldn’t even think to protest before the red and blue force had forced him all the way to his exit. He fell on his knees on the pad, having just enough time to look back up towards Sollux, who already had his back turned towards him and was retreating farther back into his chambers.

And then he was gone.

Eridan realized he was in the hall about two minutes after he had actually materialized there. Even after he figured out where he was and that someone could simply walk in and see him there in shambles on the ground, he simply sat outside of Sollux’s transportalizer for a while to wonder what the everloving fuck had just happened.

Eventually, the very least Eridan could do was take his glasses and shove them back on his own face in frustration. It was then that he remembered the hard way that he had been punched in the face twice that day, and that being punched in the face twice _really fucking hurts_ , especially when you shove your glasses back on in an angry manner. But he was a strong, dignified troll, and he resolved to not overreact to the situation any more than necessary.

And that was why Eridan went straight to his chambers and cried for only twenty minutes.


	4. Chapter 4

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling apocalypseArisen [AA]

TA: aa ii need two talk two you.  
AA: hell0  
TA: what the fuck ii2 that 2upposed two mean?  
AA: 0_0  
AA: it was my understanding that it was a c0mm0n greeting used between c0mpani0ns t0 express a p0sitive reacti0n t0 the 0thers presence  
AA: but fr0m y0ur reacti0n it w0uld appear ive been misled all these sweeps  
TA: 2hiit  
TA: ii’m 2orry ii gue22, 2orry.  
TA: ii ju2t can’t even thiink 2taiight riight now and  
TA: 2hiit.  
AA: s0llux y0ure acting very 0dd  
TA: yeah no fuckiing 2hiit ii’m actiing odd.  
TA: you don’t even know the half of iit.  
AA: 0_0  
TA: …aa  
TA: we’re  
TA: are we 2tiill friiend2?  
AA: sure  
TA: “2ure”?  
TA: jegu2, aa, how the fuck do ii even re2pond two that?  
TA: ii can’t even fuckiing talk two you anymore.  
TA: e2peciially not 2iince that 2weaty a22hole made you hii2 2tupiid fuckiing love robot or whatever the fuck.  
TA: god ii can’t even talk about iit without gaggiing.  
AA: s0llux  
TA: what.  
AA: are y0u 0k  
TA: ii  
AA: are y0u g0ing t0 answer me  
TA: no.  
TA: ii’m not okay.  
TA: ii diid 2omethiing 2o iincrediibly 2tupiid and dii2gu2tiing ii can’t even deal wiith my2elf.  
AA: what  
TA: uh…  
TA: 2hiit, you have two fuckiing 2WEAR not two mentiion thii2 two anyone.  
TA: ii’m 2o glubbiing paranoiid about 2omeone fiindiing out about thii2.  
AA: 0k  
AA: i d0nt really have a reas0n t0 tell any0ne anyway s0 that’s 0k  
TA: ii  
TA: 2hiit.  
TA: ampora fuckiing barged iintwo my chamber2 out of fuckiing nowhere ye2terday and he 2tarted bawliing liike a blubberiing coddamn retard and we were fiightiing and everythiing but then all of a 2udden  
TA: we were  
TA: oh fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck ii can’t even 2ay iit.  
TA: aa ii don’t even know what the 2weet crunchy grubfii2tiing fuck ii wa2 thiinkiing.  
AA: its 0k i think i understand what happened y0u d0nt have t0 say it if y0u d0nt want  
TA: really?  
AA: yes  
AA: sh0uld I assume that y0u tw0 had sl0ppy hate make 0uts  
TA: oh my god  
AA: s0 im right then  
TA: aa plea2e 2hut up.  
TA: oh god ii hate my own face 2o bad riight now.  
AA: y0u might just get mad at me f0r asking this  
AA: but why arent y0u 0k with this  
AA: i mean whats the big deal 0_0  
TA: are you fuckiing kiiddiing me?  
TA: iit’2 a HUGE fuckiing deal!  
AA: why  
TA: JEGU2, AA, BECAU2E.  
TA: II JU2T  
TA: DIID THAT  
TA: TO ERIIDAN FUCKIING AMPORA.  
AA: yes weve established that  
AA: but y0u kn0w that this is just a thing that happens with tr0lls  
AA: especially at 0ur age  
TA: wow thank2 aa.  
TA: why don’t you ju2t 2iit me down and so we can have that featherbea2t2 and the bee2 conver2atiion you’re obviiou2ly dyiing two have wiith me.  
AA: im just saying its n0t as catastr0phic as y0u seem t0 think it is  
TA: but ii ju2t  
TA: oh cod, ii’m 2tartiing two feel 2iick.  
AA: i think maybe 0nce the nausea passes  
AA: y0ull be 0k with it  
TA: ii ju2t don’t get iit, aa.  
TA: why hiim?  
TA: ii hate that grubfii2tiing piiece of 2hiit 2o fuckiing much.  
AA: i think thats kind 0f the p0int  
TA: ugh, no, ii mean… iit’2 ju2t weiird.  
TA: wiith me and ff, you know?  
TA: ii mean ii really really liike her.  
TA: and hey, let’2 ju2t 2ay, hypothetiically, thii2… thiing wiith eridan get2 2eriiou2.  
TA: do you know how fuckiing weiird that would be, wiith all the coddamn baggage he ha2 wiith her?  
TA: jegu2, ii’m 2o 2tupiid. out of everyone on thii2 entiire coddamn rock, why hiim?  
AA: its 0k s0llux  
AA: i think it just means  
AA: y0u have a type  
TA: oh my god.  
TA: aa ii am iin the miiddle of a crii2ii2 here.  
AA: d0nt w0rry  
AA: y0ure g0ing t0 be 0k  
TA: ii thiink ii ju2t need two clear my head. ii can’t get riid of the2e 2tupiid glubbiing headache2 now.  
TA: uh  
TA: 2orry for beiing a ha22le and makiing you talk two me.  
TA: ii’ve been kiind of feeliing liike a clu2terfuck lately and iit’2  
TA: ii don’t know, iit feel2 a liittle better talkiing two you.  
TA: ii gue22 ii kiind of mii22ed you.  
AA: 0_0  
TA: oh fuck that 2ounded 2tupiid and needy diidn’t iit.  
TA: fuckiing hell, what the fuck ii2 wrong wiith me. good job, captor, let’2 ju2t 2ee exactly how many way2 you can make thiing2 awkward wiith people by beiing a retarded-a22 nook2niiffer.  
AA: n0 d0nt w0rry that was a g00d face  
AA: h0ld 0n  
AA: 0u0  
AA: h0ws that  
TA: …  
TA: that look2 2tupiid.  
AA: yeah it d0es  
AA: 0h well  
TA: well, talk two you later ii gue22.  
TA: uh  
TA: thank2

twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling apocalypseArisen [AA]

AA: 0u0

\----

caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling arsenicCatnip [AC]

CA: nep this is gonna seem reely glubbin wweird but i need to talk to you about somethin  
AC: :33 < *ac purrks her ears curiously in the direction of this sudden intruder, as her nose twitches at the inpawxicating aroma of fishy delights*  
CA: nep im bein serious here can we be straight wwith each other  
AC: :33 < *ac’s purrecious fuzzy belly rumbles furrociously, ever-so-tempted by the variable s33food buffet that lie within her reach!*  
AC: :33 < *ac purroceeds to cr33p towards ca with the upmeowst sn33kiness, as only a fierce hunter as experienced as herself could hope to accomplish*  
CA: nep please stop  
AC: :33 < *ac pawses within a tail-length of her purrey, who meow stands paralyzed in fear of the pawsitively furrocious huntress and her unparalleled skills*  
CA: stop  
AC :33 < *ac’s tail flicks about in anticipation, purrparing herself to pounce on her target!*  
CA: stop  
AC: :33 < *ac licks her maw and silently unsheathes her claws!*  
CA: stop  
AC: :33 < *ca’s cries for meowcy go unh33ded as ac spurrings furward!*  
CA: oh for fucks sake  
AC: :33 < *but wait!*  
AC: :33 < *midair, ac retracts her mighty claws, to instead gr33t ca with a furriendly tackle pounce furrom behind!*  
AC: :33 < *ac knocks ca harmlessly onto his belly, nuzzling herself into the back of his head fondly*  
CA: wwhale wwhale wwhale  
CA: gettin pretty friendly arent wwe nep  
CA: howw friendly are wwe talkin here  
AC: XOO < *ac wishes ca wouldn’t ruin the game by being a cr33p and constantly misinterpurreting her actions!*  
AC: XOO < *ca is simply a very furriendly creature!*  
AC: :33 < *ac reminds ca in exaspurration!*  
CA: you know wwhat nevver fuckin mind it anyway cause this is actually like the exact fuckin opposite of wwhat i wwanted to talk to you about  
AC: :33 < *ac purricks her ear up curiously furrom her position on ca’s back, grooming herself and anxious to s33 what he has to say fur this impurromptu confursation*  
CA: okay can wwe just like  
CA: not do this  
CA: the wwhole roleplayin thing  
CA: im really not in the mood especially not for your annoyin shenanigans  
AC: :33 < *ac looks a little annoyed at ca’s cranky mood*  
AC: :33 < *i purromise to stop roleplaying fur the rest of the confursation if you play back fur just one line, ac says stubbornly*  
AC: :33 < *just one tiny little line!*  
CA: oh my cod you are incorrigible  
CA: you knoww wwhat fuckin fine wwhatevver its not like i havve any dignity left anywway  
CA: *ca pushes ac off a him an implores to her that she needs to stop this roleplayin bullshit for five glubbin seconds cause ca needs help an ac is the only one that he thinks could maybe help him at this juncture*  
AC: :33 < *yay, purrfect!*  
AC: :33 < oh, h33 h33, i mean,  
AC: :33 < yay, purrfect!  
CA: thank glubbin cod  
AC: :33 < what did you n33d, mr ampurra?  
CA: uhh well  
CA: you like that creepy shippin thing you do right  
CA: you knoww wwhere you pair us together an wwatch us an draww wweird pics a us an evverythin  
AC: :33 < why yes  
AC: :33 < you just happen to be speaking to the SHIPPING MASTER, mr ampurra!  
CA: yeah wwhatevver  
CA: im in a rough spot here nep  
CA: i cant think a anyone else to turn to  
CA: usually id talk to kar about this kind a thing but hes pretty coddamn hopeless wwhen it comes to black romance  
CA: an i figure youre kind a the next best option to go to for advvice like that  
CA: since no one else are evven actual kismesis relationship  
AC: :33 < mr ampurra, are you still hitting on efurryone? ://  
CA: uh  
CA: i guess  
CA: but this is different  
CA: an im actually feelin kinda ovverwwhelmed an confused about it to be honest  
CA: cause he uh  
CA: reacted  
AC: :OO < woah no way!!!!  
AC: :OO < sollux recipurrocated?!?!  
CA: okay first a all howw did you knoww it wwas him  
CA: second a all you dont havve to sound so surprised  
AC: :33 < eridan dont be silly, its so clawbvious!  
AC: :33 < especially if youre talking about black romance with a guy, that really narrows it down!  
AC: :33 < ive been considering the pawssibility ever since we got here.  
AC: :33 < its not my furavorite ship, but i dont know i just think its kind a cute the way you guys have b33n bickering lately! plus its such a dramatic relationship! s33ing as sollux and fefuri are waxing r33d fur each other as we speak ;33  
CA: okay im just gonna ignore the fact that the wway you described that wwas kind a creepy an wweird cause i havve more pressin things to deal wwith than your latent stalkin tendencies  
AC: :33 < h33 h33, theres nothing latent about my stalking abilities mr ampurra!  
AC: :33 < i take them very seriously, fur the purrposes of hunting purrey AND ships!  
CA: wwoww okay wwhatevver  
AC: :33 < anyway, tell me what happened!  
CA: im a little wworried to noww  
CA: and unbelievvably relievved that you dont already knoww  
AC: XOO < eridan, dont be difficult!!!!  
AC: :33 < youre the one who wanted my advice!  
CA: im vvery emoceanal right noww  
CA: im makin a lot a bad decisions  
AC: :33 < ugh, just tell me, dammit!  
CA: uh  
CA: okay wwell i guess it started yesterday wwhen vvris started talkin to me about sol for some reason  
CA: she asked if wwe had somethin black goin on an i told her wwe didn’t an i thought that wwas gonna be the end  
CA: but then she came an puched me in the face a feww minutes later  
AC: :33 < oh, equius told me about that!  
AC: :33 < he wants his towel back by the way  
CA: uh okay  
CA: anywway vvris punched me in the face  
CA: but before she did she kept sayin something about sol  
CA: so i figured that shed just talked to him and that he put her up to it right  
CA: so i go to confront him for bein an asshole but he just denies the wwhole thing  
CA: an then uh  
CA: i guess wwe started makin out  
AC: :33 < oh wow! :OO  
CA: i dont even knoww howw or wwhy any a that happened though  
AC: :33 < hmmm  
AC: :33 < its certainly a purrplexing situation  
AC: :33 < lets s33…  
AC: :33 < furst of all, lets look at vwhiskers side of it  
AC: :33 < i bet she really did talk to sollux befur she hit you!  
AC: :33 < but i dont think he would have told her to do anything to you! and its even less likely that she would have listened to him dont you think? ://  
CA: i dont glubbin knoww i guess in hindsight it doesnt make much sense  
CA: but wwhy else would she do it  
AC: :33 < purrhaps she heard something she didnt like  
AC: :33 < something that made her jeeeeeeaaaalouuuuuussssssss ;3O  
CA: wwhat  
CA: nep i dont knoww if you wwere made privvy to that particular embarrassment in my life but vvris doesnt exactly think a me like that  
CA: but are you sayin that  
CA: she might  
AC: :33 < purrobably not!  
CA: glub  
AC: :33 < well i just mean that she got bored with you right? but purrhaps she thought that there was something else exciting about you that she didnt know about!  
AC: :33 < equius would nefur let me roleplay with you guys because he said that  
AC: :33 < D --> Vriska has 100d, ri%-taking tendencies that w001d surely put you in danger  
AC: :33 < D --> She consistently strives to attain what she canter hoove simply because it is out of her reach  
CA: wwoww wwhat a stick in the mud  
AC: :33 < i know right!!!!  
CA: the swweaty freak did kind a hit the nail on the head though  
CA: so wwait that wwould mean that after vvris talked to sol  
CA: she felt like there wwas a reason she  
CA: couldnt havve me  
AC: :33 < purrcisely!  
CA: holy shit  
CA: so you think that sol  
CA: you think hes actually wwaxin black too  
AC: :33 < dont you think thats kind of clawbvious after you guys had sloppy makeouts all meowver the place? ://  
CA: wwell  
CA: shut up i dont knoww  
CA: it could havve been a fluke  
CA: an it wwas kind of wweird he punched me in the face too  
CA: i dont knoww it kinda hurts my head to think about i think one a them gavve me a concussion  
AC: :33 < :OO  
AC: :33 < well uh regardless youre asking fur my advice, right?  
CA: yeah i guess  
AC: :33 < well my master shipurr instincts are telling me  
AC: :33 < that meow is the time to pounce!!!  
AC: :33 < if you want to move things furward, your purrey is now a sitting quackbeast to your blackest desires!  
AC: :33 < make your move, scratching post-haste!!!!!  
CA: that wwas a really stupid wway to say that but im gettin wwhat youre sayin  
AC: :33 < purrfect!  
AC: :33 < well mr ampurra, i should purrobably go now  
CA: wwhy  
AC: :33 < well er technically im not allowed to be stalking to you right meow  
AC: :33 < equius doesnt like it when i do because he says you give me “100d private-time eyes” :((  
CA: a course he does  
CA: wwhale i guess i oughtta thank you for kinda helpin me anywway nep  
CA: its hard to get a troll to listen around here  
AC: :33 < awww, youre welcome!  
AC: :33 < oh but wait, one more thing!!  
CA: wwhat  
AC: :33 < after you get a chance to talk to sollux and something happens  
AC: :33 < will you pleeeeease give me EXCRUCIATING details so i can update my wall purroperly????  
CA: no  
CA: and if i am on that codforsaken wwall a yours in any form as a right this second  
CA: you need to take it dowwn right fucking now  
AC: :33 < NEFUR. :PP

caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling arsenicCatnip [AC]

AC: XOO < ill find out eventually mr ampurra!!!  
AC: XOO < I WILL FIND OUT!  
AC: :33 < one way  
AC: :33 < or anofur >:33c  
AC: :33 < h33 h33 h33

arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased trolling caligulasAquarium [CA]

\----

A tangled lock of hair had fallen in her face, and Sollux reached down to tuck it back behind her fin gently. As his fingers ghosted over her cheek, Feferi’s eyes began to twitch slightly underneath her eyelids. Sollux pulled his hand away cautiously, waiting until her stirring stopped, and she seemed to fall back into a peaceful sleep. After another moment of stillness, he replaced his hand on Feferi’s shoulder and leaned back with a quiet sigh as he did so, clunking his head against the wall behind him.

After Sollux finished talking to Aradia, Feferi had shown up just a few minutes later, cheerfully suggesting that she and him should take a nap together. Sollux was slightly dumbfounded at the seadweller’s fixation with sleeping every fucking waking second (fuck, that didn’t even make sense in this situation), but all the same he could never turn her down on the offer. So he had welcomed her presence, they had settled in a little corner in the room, and before he could even blink Feferi had plopped her head in his lap and drifted off almost instantly. Sollux vaguely wondered how the hell she expected him to sleep when he was pinned up to the wall by that gargantuan mess of tangled hair that may or may not have been smuggling her actual head within its confines, but even with his silent grousing he found himself not minding it as much as he should have.

Regardless, Sollux knew that he would not be so lucky to be graced by the solace of sleep. Not with the pounding in his head and the lingering voices and the dull pain from his bruised knuckles, all screaming at him to remember Eridan and the ridiculously stupid thing that had conspired the day before.

Sollux bit back a loud groan and settled for hitting the back of his head against the wall again. At this point, he didn’t know who he hated more; Eridan or himself. It was difficult to determine, but Sollux was horrified to find that for once in his life, he was leaning more towards the former than the latter.

Sollux was almost frightened at how much he hated Eridan Ampora. And Sollux had experience with hate. He wasn’t exactly the most chipper guy, and pretty much everything irked him in some way. Not to mention the self-loathing that constantly hung over his head. Sollux had some major problems with that. See, he had mood swings. One minute he could be feeling perfectly fine and upbeat about something, the next he would be cursing its name. Then he would promptly feel bad, feel stupid about getting angry, and blame everything on himself whether it was actually his fault or not. Sometimes he vaguely wondered if the voices had anything to do with it, but he guessed it didn’t really matter anyway. Because in the end, Sollux blamed almost everything on himself. Because he was a worthless, moody, bitchy, pathetic excuse for a troll and he deserved all that guilt on his shoulders. Karkat had once mockingly called him a martyr for that attitude. Actually, he used more colorful language, but that was what it came down to. But Sollux didn’t think that was right. Being a martyr was supposed to mean that you make a sacrifice for principle’s sake, or for the honor of the argument. And most of the time, Sollux didn’t think that was why he put the blame on himself. He honestly wasn’t sure he knew how to place it on anyone else anymore, being so accustomed to putting himself down. It was like an unbreakable habit, almost an addiction. An addiction to making himself feel like shit on a semi-daily basis. It was so pathetic when he thought about it, and doing so only made him hate himself even more.

But what was really worrying Sollux is that he was beginning to feel things changing with Eridan around. He had of course blamed himself for the initial incident with the seadweller, which had led to the apology, and shortly after the fight. Sollux felt a little weird after that, almost energized, but it ended up wearing off as quickly as it had come on. He went through the typical motions of feeling like an absolute twit, and decided the best course of action from then on would be to keep his distance from Eridan, and to make as little contact with him as possible.

Eridan, however, had different plans. Cue week after week after week of ceaseless pestering on the highblood’s part, and Sollux’s desperate attempt to ignore it. He failed eventually, accidentally letting a snippy retort slip out while Eridan was hounding him. When the other troll had walked away seemingly dejected, Sollux couldn’t even feel triumphant. He was too busy feeling weak, like he had just lost an ongoing battle, and to Eridan no less. But after that day, Sollux could no longer keep quiet to Eridan’s challenges.

Sollux obliged him for a while, although he couldn’t figure out why, biting back at Eridan’s insults and consequently feeling like an asshole almost immediately afterwards. But then, Sollux gradually found himself growing more and more annoyed with the seadweller’s caliginous passes; not to mention even less indifferent, less patient. Sollux just thought this was a normal reaction to someone flirting with you day in and day out with painstaking tenacity, until one day after a round with the seadweller, it felt different somehow. It hadn’t been any different than the arguments they had been having lately; Sollux had tried to refrain from physical duels, figuring it would only fuel the black fire that Eridan was tending to, reserving himself to verbal confrontations, pulling back if it started looking like the seadweller wanted a real fight.

And that was what happened. Which was why Sollux wondered why it was feeling like it was different. It took him a ridiculously long time to pinpoint the reason. But in horror he soon realized that he didn’t feel as bad as he should. Not that he had an actual reason to feel bad in the first place, but he knew himself and knew that he should feel like an absolute asshole for giving in and fighting with Eridan. It was embarrassingly startling to realize that he didn’t. And even moreso when he realized that, for once, the object of his blame was not himself; it was Eridan.

Sollux was borderline terrified at this revelation, once it fully hit him it immediately dissipated and replaced with the typical self-hate that he was accustomed to, because that was so _stupid_ to think and it was always Sollux’s fault in the end, because he was a moody sniveling pile of waste and what made Eridan _so fucking special_ that Sollux could think for a minute that it _wasn’t_ his own fault?

The new feeling was surprisingly invasive, and after that Sollux reserved himself to keeping as much distance between him and the seadweller as possible. Occasionally, those weird thoughts would rear their ugly heads again, the thoughts that it was Eridan’s fault that he had to pussyfoot around like this, that if he wasn’t such an annoying, needy little shit that everything would be so much easier — as opposed to the thoughts that it was himself who just screwed up again. He tried to keep the former thoughts reigned in, hoping that he could just avoid the situation for long enough that it would eventually be forgotten.

But evidently, it wasn’t going to be as simple as that.

Presently, Sollux’s gaze shifted to his right hand lying flat on the ground next to Feferi’s head. The hard metal floor felt cold under his palm, which was a stark contrast to the dull throbbing of his swollen knuckles, the bruise feeling uncomfortably warm even without touching it.

He was stuck simply staring at his hand for who knows how long, when he noticed Feferi stirring again. He stood still, not wanting to wake her up, and waited until she settled down again. She shifted more onto her stomach, her head still facing away from Sollux. She didn’t move after that, leading him to believe that she had fallen asleep again, which was why he jumped a little when she gasped lightly. Her hand suddenly draped over his. He started to pull back, cringing slightly, but Feferi’s touch was surprisingly delicate and soft. She was clearly exacting great care with handling him, and her other hand slowly lifted Sollux’s palm off the ground so his hand was sandwiched between hers.

“Sollux,” she breathed, her voice tinged with worry, “what happened to your hand?”

Sollux faltered only for a moment before coolly answering back, “It’th nothing.”

Feferi was silent for a second because she began shifting again, turning her head around slightly to cast an excruciatingly accusatory gaze at him. “Sollux, you’re lying!”

“It’th nothing.” Repeating those words while under the scrutiny of that stubborn, worried leer was not an easy task.

Feferi looked at him for a second more before sighing and shifting back again, resting her chin on Sollux’s leg and pouting. She stared at Sollux’s hand as she massaged it gently with her fingers, sounding exasperated as she spoke again. “Sollux, you’ve been acting FISHY for SOLE long now! I wanted to take a nap with you because I was hoping you’d SHOAL me why you’ve been acting like this in our dreams.”

“That’th thtupid.”

“Your dumb CRABBY face is what’s THTUPID!” She shot back, and Sollux sighed and pet her shoulder until she settled down. She seemed to be good after a few moments, and continued with another sigh, sounding sadder this time. “Sollux, you SHRIMPLY cannot keep these things bottled up like a tiny, sad little pirate ship! It’s only going to fester and get worse, and soon your ship’s gonna sink underneath a violent torrent of emOCEANS and angst.”

Sollux snorted. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Soooooollllluuuuuuux,” Feferi whined pointedly. “I’m being serious!”

Her tone made Sollux realize that she really was, and that alone made him shut up.

Feferi seemed to be thinking as she silently rubbed his hand for a minute, and then she turned her head towards him again. “Is it Eridan?”

Sollux tried to retain his poker face, but evidently Feferi had been teaching herself to see through it. Before he could even verbally protest, she shot up, letting go of Sollux’s hand and pushing herself to a seated position, not taking her eyes off of him the entire time. “SEA, I knew it!”

Feferi’s eyes were flashing angrily as her fins gave a twitch, and for once she looked truly angry, and Feferi never was truly angry. “Is that stupid dumb glubbing grumpy gills bothering you again?! I TOLD him he had to leave you alone!”

Sollux lifted up his hands in surrender, too tired to be angry, just wanted Feferi to drop the subject. “FF, I told you, it’th-”

“Sollux, no, this is getting ridiculous!” She interrupted, fins twitching again in defiance. “You two need to learn to get along! Or at least tolerate each other…. You two don’t have to be FRONDS, just don’t be at each other’s throats all the time!”

“FF, he doethn’t exactly make it eathy,” Sollux said with a sigh. He was not going to tell her about yesterday, he barely wanted to recall it himself, but he would humor Feferi with this conversation simply to make her stop talking about it quicker. He did feel bad about being so distant with her, but there wasn’t anything he could do about it at the present. Nothing he would do, at least.

“I know he doesn’t, Sollux,” Feferi replied sympathetically, already calming down a little. “But I have a feeling you’re not making much of an effort either. And- shoosh!” She silenced him as he began to protest, flicking his left wrist for emphasis. “And besides that, we’re all going to have to learn to live here together! And with you two constantly fighting like you do, it just puts stress on everyone!” Then Feferi looked downwards suddenly, and she added quietly, “And plus, it makes me feel bad to see you both all worked up like this… I feel like it’s kind of my fault, you know?”

The look on her face tugged on Sollux’s heartstrings more than he would have liked to admit.

“Uh,” he started out awkwardly, his desperate attempts at trying to sound cool and level-headed failing spectacularly. “It’th okay, Feferi, it’th not your fault or anything, it’th…. Jutht don’t worry about uth.” He wanted to leave it at that, but he looked at Feferi’s unconvinced face and welched. “I’ll… I’ll….” He sighed deeply, bringing his hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose, feeling his glasses slide up and go askew but not caring. “I’ll try talking to him again, I guethh.”

Feferi was on him before he even knew it was happening, her arms slung around his neck and pulling him into a neck-snapping hug in mere seconds. “SEA, now SHORELY that couldn’t have been that hard to promise, right?” She giggled contentedly, pulling back and sitting back down in Sollux’s lap.

Sollux grimaced slightly, but wrapped his arms around her waist anyway. “Yeah, yeah.”

Feferi giggled again, still clinging to the psionic as one of her hands played with the hair at the nape of his neck. “And if you look as conTROUT as you did just then, he’ll have no choice but to make peace with you.”

Sollux simply snorted. Cod, if she ever knew. And lucky for him, she didn’t. He wasn’t exactly sure how to approach Eridan, even less sure that he actually wanted to, but at this point if he didn’t, Feferi would make sure he heard about it for sweeps. Besides, maybe this wasn’t exactly the sort of thing that should be left hanging.

As he silently worried about this, Feferi hummed softly, and Sollux was suddenly made very aware of how close her face was to his.

Feferi had a devious look in her eyes, and she bit her lip sheepishly as she pulled herself a little closer, their noses bumping together slightly. “Of CORALse,” she started, and it worried Sollux how little he minded that she was fucking still keeping up the fish puns even now, “you don’t have to leave _now_.”

Sollux soon realized that, ironically, nothing took your mind off of making out with a gaudy fish prince more than making out with a gaudy fish empress.


	5. Chapter 5

caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

CA: okay you dirtscrapin peasant  
CA: you listen noww an you listen good  
CA: im gettin sick an tired a this psychic double reach around mind game thing youre tryin to pull here  
CA: so im gonna givve you one last chance  
CA: cause im reel fuckin benevvolent like that  
CA: im givvin you one last chance before i go shithivve maggots on your ass  
CA: cause im glubbin royalty you knoww  
CA: i dont evven havve to act this patient wwith a fuckin mustardblood  
CA: it must just be outta the kindness a my owwn bladder based organ system that im evven indulgin your type a behavvior  
CA: im so fuckin charitable i cant evven see straight sol  
CA: its not like i wwant to grace a ungrateful piece a trash like you wwith my presence  
CA: its like tellin recooperacon time stories to a stupid retarded wwriggler  
CA: excitin stories a great powwerful tyrants an gruesome wwars  
CA: totally fuckin kickass stories  
CA: but the stupid lowwblooded wwriggler is just starin at me an cryin an droolin cause it cant evven glubbin appreciate wwhat im doin for it  
CA: thats you sol  
CA: youre the wwriggler  
CA: its you  
CA: but i keep at it cause i guess im just reel fuckin nice like that  
CA: its hard bein this compassionate  
CA: its hard an no one understands  
CA: but anywway youre startin to try my coddamn patience  
CA: so were havvin a meetin about it once an for all  
CA: an you better be prepared to get dowwn on your fuckin hands an knees an kiss my wwell polished shoes for your unbelivvable fuckin insolence  
CA: so youre comin to the common area right noww  
CA: cause i also wwanna have our little convversation on evven ground  
CA: so you dont try pullin any dirty tricks  
CA: as i knoww youre inclined to do wwith that despicable yelloww sludge sloshin through your vveins  
CA: plus i wwant wwitnesses to you beggin for forgivveness  
CA: sol are you evven there  
CA: you better not be blowwholing me off on purpose  
CA: man you just keep fuckin pushin it further dont you  
CA: seein howw far you can take bein a fuckin inconsiderate fuckwwad  
CA: wwell im not gonna stand for this much longer sol  
CA: an wwhen you get dowwn here im gonna fuckin bloww you awway  
CA: like wwith my wwand i mean  
CA: fuck i mean uh  
CA: im gonna hurt you obvviously  
CA: like in a bad wway  
CA: wwith pain an stuff  
CA: an  
CA: an  
CA: sol im bein serious noww you havve to answwer  
CA: its just basic decency to reply wwhen someones tryin to get your attention  
CA: an im just kinda talkin to myself here  
CA: this is gettin awwkwward  
CA: an really kinda upsettin  
CA: for me  
CA: wwhy wwont you answwer  
CA: sol  
CA: sol  
CA: sol  
CA: sol  
CA: SOL  
CA: sol youre just bein mean noww  
CA: howw do you evven havve any friends youre such a fuckin insensitivve little freak  
CA: an you havve no idea howw to be a functionin member a society  
CA: psionic my ass  
CA: more like  
CA: autistic  
CA: oh cod sol please answwer  
CA: the anticipation is killin me  
CA: i just  
CA: i cant  
CA: sol you get dowwn here right noww or ill  
CA: ill  
CA: ill be really super mad okay  
CA: WWWWEH  
TA: okay.  
CA: oh jegus  
CA: finally  
CA: do you knoww howw long youvve kept me wwaitin you dirtscrapin piece a shit  
CA: i havve half a mind to  
CA: wwait hold on  
CA: wwhat did you say  
TA: okay, ii’ll meet wiith you.  
TA: ii’m actually glad you brought thii2 up fiir2t, 2ave2 me the trouble of haviing two approach you about iit my2elf.  
TA: ii’ll be up 2oon.

twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling caligulasAquarium [CA]

CA: wwait  
CA: wwait wwhat

\----

Mouth agape, Eridan sat staring at the computer screen for a few moments longer. That went easier than he thought it would. Almost too easy. Truth be told, he was a little disappointed.

But he shook off his stupor quickly, trying to regain his composure before turning to the troll to his right.  
“Okay, he’s comin’,” Eridan snapped impatiently.

Incidentally, he and this other troll were the only two in the common room at the moment. It wasn’t exactly his idea of ideal conditions, but it would have to do, as Eridan had recently developed the unfortunate ability to clear any room he walked into. Perhaps it was because the other trolls were beginning to catch on that lately a conversation with Eridan meant one that only consisted of complaining about Sollux, complaining about landwellers, complaining about Sollux’s lisp, complaining about the Veil, complaining about Sollux’s glasses, complaining about Feferi, complaining about Sollux’s shoes, complaining about Sollux’s shirt, complaining about Sollux’s hair, complaining about Sollux’s teeth, and – if they were lucky – complaining about how no one ever stopped to listen to him complain about Sollux.

But thankfully, Eridan had a safety net. As the small group of trolls in the common room began to casually trickle out, Eridan latched onto the one who was guaranteed to be a step behind everyone else.

And so, Gamzee stood there now, staring intently at the rings on Eridan’s right hand with a glazed-over look in his eyes and a spacey smile on his face. As the last few of them had taken their leave from the room, Gamzee remained, oblivious as always, and Eridan knew that he had to act right then. Gamzee, seeming to be in awe of the mere fact that he was able to help Eridan in any way, agreed to stay with him. Although Eridan was a bit vexed that all the conniving plots he had composed to get Gamzee to acquiesce were immediately proven useless, he triumphantly wasted no time in contacting Sollux.

Now he was beginning to wonder, however, if Gamzee was up to the task.

“Gam, are you listenin’ to me?” Eridan snapped again when the indigoblood didn’t look up, and he jerked his hand away and hid it underneath his cape for good measure. This seemed to work, and Gamzee blinked and looked back up Eridan blankly.

“Motherfuck, sorry, man,” he laughed, his tone mellow. “I was just fuckin’ admirin’ that crazy motherfuckin’ finger bling. It’s just all up in there, you know? All motherfuckin’ shiny and shit, like they’re fuckin’ tiny little metal miracle strips all wrapped around your digits and some what ever.”

“Yes, yes, my accessories are glubbin’ legendary,” Eridan sighed, rolling his eyes. “I know that already, Gam. You can compliment me later, we got more pressin’ matters to attend to! Sol says he’s comin’ right now. Do you even fuckin’ remember what you’re s’posed to do?”

“Haha, not even a little, brother.”

“Oh for fuck’s- look, lemme explain this to you again,” Eridan started, tapping his fingers impatiently on his arm. “I just called Sol up here for a private meetin’. An’ I did say private. That means no shovin’ your stupid clown nose where it doesn’t belong. But you need to stay in this room, nearby, okay? ‘Cause Sol, as you well know, is a fuckin’ psychopathic gutterblooded scumbag. An’ if he tries any funny business, you gotta help me out, Gam. Us higherblood’s gotta stick together against these barbaric glubbin’ gutterbloods. An’ you’re pretty okay, Gam, for a landweller. You’re only a little worse than me. So you get it now? Just watch my back, okay?”

He stopped and waited for any kind of recognition from Gamzee. But unfortunately, while tapping his fingers, he had managed to uncover his hand from the confines of his cape, and Gamzee had resumed staring at it as if it were the most interesting thing he’d ever seen in his life. And as Eridan realized that the jewels on his fingers were probably flashing brilliantly in the light, he knew all hope was lost. So in desperation, he grabbed Gamzee’s shirt in his hands and roughly pulled him close, waiting until Gamzee seemed to be vaguely paying attention.

“ _Gam, for the love of cod, do not let him punch me again_ ,” Eridan said with excruciating slowness. “ _Do not let any more people punch me in the coddamn face, I’m beggin’ you_.”

Gamzee blinked at Eridan, looking confused, but laughed as he said, “Yeah, no problem, motherfucker, ain’t no one gonna pop you one while you got me all up on the job like a motherfuckin’ guy who does jobs real motherfuckin’ well.”

Eridan sighed in relief, letting him go, and Gamzee’s gaze ended up falling on Eridan’s hands again. The indigoblood nonchalantly grabbed the seadweller’s left hand and brought it up to his face, studying the jewelry carefully.

“You got these fuckin’ colors dancin’ like a motherfuckin’ miracle, my brother. Ain’t never seen so many lights and colors getting all up with their funky selves, and they be strikin’ up a motherfuckin’ miracle ballet like you ain’t never seen.”

Eridan looked away coquettishly and blushed a little. “Gam, this is no time to hold hands, I’m about to engage in very important business.”

Gamzee didn’t look like he was even remotely hearing what Eridan was saying, painstakingly focused on the rings with a look of awe. “You gotta look real motherfuckin’ close and it kinda hurts a brother’s eyes, but look, motherfucker. All those fuckin’ shiny-ass miracles workin’ their asses up in there.”

“I know I’m irresistible an’ everythin’ an’ the way I’m puttin’ up with this gutterblood is really admirable an’ charmin’, but approach these things with a little fuckin’ tact why don’t you?”

“You got so fuckin’ many of ‘em, too. All these fuckin’ miracles just wrapped all up and put in their place with all these other fuckin’ happy makers, just wrapped all around like a motherfuckin’ laughsassin curlin’ his mirthful throes around like a miracle inside a miracle.”

“But while we’re on the subject….”

“Shit, brother, can I have one of these?”

“So how’ve your quadrants been lookin’, Gam?”

“ _Really_?”

Eridan jumped at the third voice, whipping his head around to find Sollux there, his stance smug but with a grimace on his face. He quickly yanked his hand away from Gamzee, who seemed unfazed by the new situation up until that point, making the indigoblood jump and frown slightly.

“Oh cod fuckin’ dammit, Sol, why you gotta sneak up on people like that like a fuckin’ freak a’ nature.” Eridan babbled, trying to cover up his embarrassment.

Sollux’s expression didn’t change, but he looked over at Gamzee briefly and then returned to the seadweller to give him the most patronizing look Eridan had ever seen in his life. “What are you even doing? Trying to get him to join uth?”

Eridan grew flustered, and he whipped his head back to Gamzee. “Gam, go over there.” He jerked his head vaguely towards the corner of the room. Gamzee looked a bit dejected and expectant.

Eridan blinked at him for a moment before finally sighing and slipping off one of the rings on his left hand, letting it drop into Gamzee’s already opened hands. The indigoblood contentedly made his way towards his horn pile in the corner, humming to his newly acquired accessory. When Eridan assessed that he was out of hearing distance he turned back to Sollux hesitantly.

Sollux only met him with a disbelieving scowl. “What ith wrong with you?”

Eridan’s fins twitched before he could stop them. “What?”

“That wath jutht thad, man.”

“ _What the glub of it_.”

“Pft. Whatever.”

There was silence after that, a stifling kind of quietness that made Eridan realize how incredibly awkward it was to be standing in front of the psionic now after their last interaction. He had been glaring at Sollux, but he suddenly looked down and focused the glower on his shoes instead, not trusting himself if he had to look directly at the lowblood for much longer.

Sollux cleared his throat suddenly, the sound permeating invasively through the air around them. “Tho… were you going to thay anything… thinthe you made me come up here and all?” Eridan answered Sollux’s question with silence, realizing suddenly that he had forgotten all the demeaning, angry words he had been carefully playing out in his head to say at this moment. Words that would have surely swept the psionic off his feet with their unrestrained blackness, and make it clear that Eridan was the best coddamn kismesis any troll could have. He still felt angry, even angrier because Sollux had somehow made him forget his important speech, but he couldn’t put the feeling into words that were meaningful enough to say aloud.

“I mean,” Sollux continued, oblivious to Eridan’s feeling of hopelessness, “from the fucking dithhertathon you thent me on Trollian, you’d think you’d prepared a whole fucking producthon for the thake of degrading me. Thit, I’m almotht fucking dithapointed that you couldn’t even-”

“Why’d you say you’d talk to me?” The words left Eridan’s mouth before he even realized how badly he wanted to know the answer. He kept his eyes locked stubbornly to the ground, unable to see Sollux’s reaction, but the inquiry had quieted him up rather quickly.

After a moment, he scoffed slightly. “Honethtly?” He asked, and then continued without waiting for an answer. “FF told me to. Thhe’s getting really thick of uth being athhholes, I guethh. Figured I thould at leatht try to clear the air, for her thake.”

This made Eridan finally fix his glare back up to Sollux, his eyes sparking with new intensity. “Fuck you.”

Sollux glared right back at him. “Fuck _you_.”

“No, seriously, fuck you,” Eridan shot back. “So you’ll only try to clear the air after punchin’ me an’ kissin’ me if your fuckin’ girlfriend tells you to? Real fuckin’ nice, Sol.”

This made Sollux stop again, but he shook it off and didn’t sound any less angry as he replied, “Jutht thut the fuck up, Eridan, that’th not what I fuckin’ thaid.”

Eridan suddenly remembered something, and gathered up the sense to look over his shoulder to make sure Gamzee wasn’t eavesdropping. Unsurprisingly the indigoblood seemed content enough to be playing with Eridan’s ring while nestled in his horn pile, so he was not paying attention. After assessing this, he turned back to Sollux with a snarl on his face. “You fuckin’ might as well’ve said it,” he spat. “That’s the only reason you’re even here, right?”

“No, it’th not,” Sollux answered indignantly.

“ _Really_.” Eridan scoffed in disbelief. “Then tell me why you came.”

“I-” Sollux started, but cut himself off quickly. Eridan just glared at him until he answered, feeling a little triumphant when Sollux started looking embarrassed under his scrutiny. “I don’t know,” the psionic answered finally, looking down.

Eridan grit his teeth and took a step towards Sollux, the anger in his voice rising. “That is fuckin’ bullshit, Sol. Fuckin’ tell me!”

Sollux actually looked a little wilted now, but he stood his ground and even looked Eridan square in the eyes as he repeated, “I don’t know.”

Eridan bristled and suddenly he was standing right in front of Sollux, fully utilizing the slight height advantage he had and trying to look down at the psionic. “Okay, here’s a fuckin’ easier one. Why… why the fuck did you kiss me?”

Eridan took great pride in the fact that it was clearly getting difficult for the psionic to keep his gaze focused on the seadweller. “I… I don’t know.”

Eridan lost it. “Fuck you, you don’t know!” He blurted out loudly, the sound echoing through the empty space. Sollux’s eyes widened and he saw him glance around him at the horn pile. Eridan followed his line of sight to see Gamzee still looking blissfully unaware to what was happening just a few feet away from him, and Eridan briefly wondered if it was out of politeness or if the indigoblood was really that out of it. Regardless, when he returned his scrutiny to Sollux he lowered his voice a little, although he didn’t nor could he remove the venom from his tone. “It’s not fuckin’ rocket science, Sol. There’s not fuckin’ much in the way a’ reasons for doin’ somethin’ like that. An’ I wanna fuckin’ know why, ‘cause I’m coddamn sick an’ tired a’ bein’ jerked around by a scrawny little homewreckin’ lowblood. So I want you to fuckin’ answer me, an’ if you just say ‘I don’t know’ again like some pisspoor excuse for a fuckin’ squawkbeast, I swear to fuckin’ COD you are gonna fuckin’ regret it.”

The silence following seemed to stretch out forever, and Eridan desperately tried to read Sollux’s face, but to no avail. He just looked at Eridan with this pathetically blank stare, and his eyes were equally as inscrutable. They weren’t even glowing, or smoking, or sparking, or any of the other weird shit that they did. When Sollux spoke again, his voice was surprisingly cautious and quiet as his mouth moved to form his next words:

“I don’t know.”

Eridan backhanded him across the face.

Sollux’s hand flew up to his right cheek as he staggered backwards in shock, only managing not to fall down by crashing into the desk behind him. But his knees had given out and he hunched over shakily, clawing at the table with his free hand for leverage.

Eridan could only gape at him as if he had already forgotten how it happened, holding his stinging hand to his chest defensively. Sollux was still turned to the side, and he began to slowly pull his hand away from his face. Things only clicked when Eridan saw the little bit of yellow blood smeared over his palm, and the multiple small cuts on his cheek that the blood was trickling from. Eridan looked down at his own hand then, suddenly noticing dingy yellow smudges covering his rings.

He looked back at Sollux, who still had his gaze trained downwards. He seemed to glance at his bloodied hand out of the corner of his eye, and the his eyes began to smoke, tiny sparks of light flashing from them. He began to turn his head very slowly back towards the seadweller. He straightened up a bit as he did so, but kept a grip on the edge of the table for balance. His bloody hand slipped slightly when he placed it on the edge, but his glare remained steady as he locked it onto Eridan.

The highblood’s heart jumped when their eyes met, because Sollux’s glasses had slid partway down his nose and once again Eridan was actually looking into his eyes; but this time they were narrowed into angry slits and the smoke and electricity were spilling over from behind his eyelids, and Eridan could almost feel the scrutinizing hatred being trained in his direction.

Sollux simply stared at him for an excruciatingly long time, his mouth forming a tight line until his lip suddenly lifted up into a snarl.

“That one,” he growled, his voice somewhat hoarse. “I’ll let you have that one for free.” He didn’t take his eyes off of Eridan as he briefly lifted his hand to wipe away some blood that had trickled onto his mouth. “Don’t eckthpect any more favorth from me, though.”

The last remark hit Eridan like a ton of bricks, and he didn’t even bother to think about what he was doing before striding over to the psionic. He reached in between Sollux’s torso and arms on either side to place his hands on the metal counter firmly, pinning the yellowblood where he was. Eridan had his eyes locked on his lips, remembering how they felt and more than ready to experience it once more, but as he moved in Sollux quickly turned his head away with wide eyes. Eridan realized that he was attempting to look over him once again at the horn pile in the corner, but Eridan wasn’t too worried as he also glanced back to check – yes, Gamzee was now asleep in the horn pile.

When Eridan turned back, it dawned on him that the distraction had been enough to bring him back from the spontaneous mood that had brought him here, because suddenly he realized that he was really super awkwardly close to Sollux. He froze then, looking at Sollux in desperation. Sollux barely matched his gaze before returning it away, looking down and to his left sheepishly. Luckily for Eridan, the motion fully revealed his wounded cheek, and somehow the sight instilled a bit more creativity in the seadweller.

He tried to touch that side of his face, but as his hand floated over the yellowblood’s cheek, Sollux jerked away and let out a sound that was nearly a hiss. The sound only empowered Eridan’s newfound drive. He cupped his fingers around Sollux’s cheek and hooked a thumb around his chin, jerking his head back towards him roughly. Sollux let himself be faced forward, but tried as hard as he could to keep his gaze cast downward, refusing to meet the seadweller’s eyes at all. Eridan’s fingernails dug into his skin slightly, one of them catching a fresh wound. Sollux merely grunted in pain. Eridan wanted more. He pressed harder and watched more blood trickle down his finger. Sollux let out the same noise, but he gritted his teeth tensely and a small spark of white lightning shot out from the middle of his forehead.

Seeing that surge of concentrated energy suddenly made the seadweller remember that the psionic had more than enough power to force Eridan off of him if he wanted. He could have pushed the highblood off of him at any moment. Sollux was holding back.

Eridan wasn’t completely sure how to feel about that. One the one hand, he was just kind of amazed that Sollux was letting him do anything to him in the first place; one the other, it pissed him off because he was pretty sure a kismesis wouldn’t want to hold back.

But as he realized the level of restraint Sollux was practicing, Eridan found himself beginning to hesitate as well. He was caught in between wanting to kiss the everloving shit out of him and wanting to pull away. Desperately grasping for what to do next, he found himself touching the edge of Sollux’s mouth tentatively with his thumb. The yellowblood had pulled his mouth into a tight, stubborn line, but with Eridan pressing against the corner, his lips twitched and softened a bit; but the hard glare that he still refused to direct at the seadweller did not. Eridan swallowed and started to run his thumb along Sollux’s mouth slowly. Another spark of white flew out from the center of Sollux’s forehead, and his lips parted to reveal gritted teeth. Eridan kept going, and even as he moved he could feel the psionic’s lips twitching underneath his touch, twitching with restraint. With his features wild and his fangs bared menacingly, he looked like he was half a second away from attempting to bite Eridan’s thumb off completely.

Eridan almost wished he’d try.

Only when Eridan had gotten to the other side of his mouth did his jaw finally snap open. Though it wasn’t to attack Eridan. His glower turned downwards, Sollux’s voice creaked out like he had almost forgotten how to use it, and he said, “Fucking fine.”

Before Eridan could process what this meant, the gold chain of his cape was suddenly pulled taut against his neck, and as he was yanked backward both his hands left Sollux and flew up to his throat, desperately trying to grab at what was constricting his breathing. But as quickly as it had taken hold of him, he was released again, and his cape fell limp against his back. He coughed to get the air back, and tried to look up at Sollux angrily, not doubting for a second that the psionic’s hands were dirty of the crime.

Sollux was already trying to straighten himself out, hiding his right cheek with his hand and stepping away from the edge of desk. His eyes still smoked slightly, but the intenseness seemed to be wearing off. It didn’t not seem to be because Sollux was regaining his composure, but because the anger was being quickly replaced with embarrassment.

“Fine,” Sollux repeated, his voice wavering ever-so slightly. “You want me to hate you that fucking bad? Fine.” He paused, as if considering the implications of that, and backtracked a little. “We’ll thee. You’re on trial ath of right now, fiththtick.” Another pause, and then, “Don’t fucking dithappoint.”

Sollux stormed out of the room before Eridan could stop him.

Eridan simply stood there for a minute in a daze, and it slowly began to dawn on him that he had no idea what the fuck just happened.

He stood where he was a while longer before finally giving up and leaving, fully prepared to take the easy route out and simply sleep on it. With a sigh he approached the transportalizer, allowing it to phase him out quickly, looking forward to retreating to his oddly therapeutic pile of wands once again.

He almost immediately reentered the common room, got his ring back from Gamzee’s sleeping form, and woke the troll up by roughly stomping on one of his own horns before feeling satisfied enough to leave again.


	6. Chapter 6

caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

CA: wwhat the fuck are you glubbin about im on trial  
CA: wwhat the fuck is that supposed to mean  
CA: wwhat am i suddenly a subscription to playtroll monthly  
TA: oh my god.  
TA: diid iit 2eriiou2ly take two day2 for that to 2iink iin?  
CA: shut up thats not the point an you knoww it  
TA: whatever.  
CA: oh my cod sol you are bein a complete ditherin moron about all a this  
TA: all of what?  
CA: exactly  
CA: i mean cod this isnt evven like some kind a kismesis hate ritual like a battle a wills or somethin  
CA: i thought it wwas at first  
CA: i actually really wwanted it to be  
CA: but fuck ill fess up  
CA: i dont havve a fuckin clue whats goin on betwween us anymore  
CA: an i dont think you do either  
CA: sol answwer me you stupid snivelin nerd  
CA: fuck  
CA: can you at least tell me  
CA: like  
CA: wwhat wwe are  
CA: like as a right noww  
CA: because i honestly dont fuckin knoww  
TA: ii’m 2tiill thiinkiing, okay?  
CA: wwoww thats reel fuckin helpful  
CA: about wwhat exactly  
TA: liike  
TA: ju2t about all thii2.  
TA: about you ii gue22.  
CA: um  
CA: okay i guess  
CA: but like  
CA: wwhat do you think a me right noww this vvery moment i guess is what im askin  
TA: you are the mo2t iinfuriiatiing piiece of 2hiit ii have ever had the mii2fortune of meetiing. you’re a needy, holiier-than-thou narcii22ii2tiic nook2niiffer and you make me want two riip my haiir out and ju2t 2cream forever until we’re both dead and rottiing.  
CA: uh  
CA: so is that a good thing  
TA: ii don’t fuckiing know, eriidan.  
TA: ju2t get off my ca2e about iit, alriight?  
CA: wwhat  
CA: no fuck no  
CA: i mean shit are you kiddin me i think ivve got some right to know here  
CA: okay listen since your retarded mustardblood brain is refusin to let any coherent thoughts come to fruition  
CA: howw about i just ask wwhat i wwanna knoww an you can say yes or no  
TA: fiine.  
CA: okay  
CA: are wwe  
CA: are wwe kismesises  
TA: GOD.  
TA: no.  
CA: okay i dont think the god wwas necessary  
TA: well fuck iit was ju2t more diirect than ii expected iit two be, okay?  
CA: wwhatevver  
CA: so wwhat the fuck is this then  
CA: are wwe like  
CA: hate datin  
TA: no.  
TA: waiit uh  
TA: ii don’t know.  
CA: did you learn fuckin nothin about sayin i dont knoww to me  
TA: maybe.  
CA: wwhat does maybe mean  
TA: iit mean2 maybe.  
CA: wwait so  
CA: that means youre not sayin no  
CA: right  
TA: your ob2ervatiional 2kiills are unparalleled.  
CA: wwell fuck youre not exactly bein real clear about any a this  
TA: ugh.  
TA: okay, maybe iit mean2 that ii don’t have a fuckiing clue what ii’m feeliing riight now.  
TA: and iit’2 really weiirdiing me out.  
TA: but  
TA: iit doe2n’t nece22ariily feel wrong.  
TA: and ii gue22 ii ju2t want two fiigure out why.  
CA: oh  
TA: 2hiit, that 2ounded 2tupiid.  
TA: cod dammiit ii can’t beliieve how fuckiing braiindead you’ve made me.  
CA: hey  
CA: trust me it did sound really glubbin stupid  
CA: but i didnt do anythin  
CA: that right there is just predispositioned stupidity from a uncultured fuckin dirtscraper  
TA: holy 2hiit wiill you ju2t 2hut up.  
TA: and one more thiing, don’t tell anybody about thii2.  
TA: ii don’t want anyone knowiing that ii’ve taken 2ome kiind of maje2tiic fuckiing diive off the deep end, at lea2t not untiil ii know what ii’m even thiinkiing.  
CA: fuck that noise ill do wwhat i wwant  
TA: eriidan iif you 2ay anythiing ii wiill liiterally kiill you.  
CA: wwell cod sol  
CA: can wwe at least talk about all a this a little more  
CA: cause like  
CA: i still dont think im gettin it  
TA: no.  
TA: a2 of riight now there’2 nothiing more for u2 two talk about and you’re goiing two 2hut up about thii2 unle22 you want two eat from a 2traw for the re2t of your liife.  
CA: you fuckin asshole  
TA: jegu2, you have the patiience of a fuckiing flood.  
TA: ju2t  
TA: giive me 2ome tiime two thiink.  
CA: go to hell youvve had plenty a time to think already  
TA: you know what, ii don’t even know why ii keep tryiiing two rea2on wiith you.  
TA: ju2t deal wiith it becau2e ii’m done talkiing.

twinArmageddons [TA] ceased pestering caligulasAquarium [CA]

\----

Did Eridan have every right to know what was going on? Sure, absolutely. Was Sollux being unreasonable? Maybe. Was he just leading the seadweller on, which would, in fact, be a complete dick move? Possibly. And if he wasn’t leading Eridan on, and he (hypothetically) was going to choose him as a kismesis, was he just ruining his chance by dragging it out and making things more complicated? Probably.

Did Sollux give any single fucks about any of that?

Nope.

None whatsoever.

At that moment, he didn’t want to realize how much of an idiot he was being, he didn’t care, he just knew that his face still hurt like a bitch, his head was, quite literally, screaming at him, Feferi was getting fed up with him skating around what had happened with Eridan when then had talked, and _he didn’t care anymore_.

Sollux had tried to stow himself away in the most inconspicuous corner of the meteor he could find. He didn’t want to talk about any of it, not with Feferi, or Aradia, or Karkat, or anyone else. He didn’t want to stay cooped up in the common room where the other trolls were constantly buzzing in and out, only aggravating the voices in his head, and consequently his migraine. He just wanted quiet, which was a rare feat with the voices constantly babbling on like they did, but maybe they would shut up too for once, and maybe he would finally be in dark and silence. He wouldn’t have to concentrate on color, or sound, or anything.

And he definitely wouldn’t have to think about Eridan.

Sollux fought the urge to touch his right cheek pensively, the mere fact that the thought even crossed his mind making him want to puke, and settled for trying to ignore the voices chattering on inside his head.

He had given up trying to appease them long ago. More often than not, they were insatiable, and actually listening to their nonsensical wishes would do nothing but drive Sollux even crazier. However, ignoring them seemed to occasionally work. They were somewhat fickle in that way: if there was no one willing to listen, suddenly their “prophecies” and “warnings” became less urgent than they first insisted they were.

But it was times like these that Sollux lamented the fact that the voices always seemed to be against him, rather than with him. Of all the dim prophecies they detailed, of all the ghostly laments they keened, they never seemed to say anything helpful. Sometimes Sollux wished that as long they were renting out his think pan, free of charge no less, it wouldn’t kill them to give him some informed advice. It was a stupid thing to wish, ridiculous to imagine other-worldly, disembodied voices being anything but vague and obfuscatory, but he couldn’t help it, especially during times like this. After all, it was hard being a teenager and growing up.

Sollux felt antsy, so he had been pacing for the last several minutes, stopping suddenly to find the wall beside him and lean against it. He sighed as his forehead hit the cool metal, closing his eyes. He raised a hand to rub at his temples to ease the throbbing in his head.

He just needed a little time to himself. He was feeling more introverted than usual, and he was done talking about his problems with others. He was done thinking about his feelings, he was done thinking about other people’s feelings, and he was most certainly done thinking about-

“Whale, whale, whale.”

Sollux’s eyes snapped open instantaneously at the very first syllable, but the rest of his body and his thoughts completely froze, as if that moment in time had just stopped. However, the shrill, drawling voice behind him remained obtusely unaware of the sudden shift in space.

“I shoulda fuckin’ expected you to be mopin’ around like this, like a glubbin’ wussy lil’ grub.”

Sollux still didn’t move, but the gears in his head began turning very slowly as rough concepts of thoughts began to run through his head, ideas that couldn’t quite reach fruition and simply came out as _fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck how does he fucking fuck fuck I cannot BELIEVE FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK._

“What, you don’t even got anythin’ to say?” Sollux swore to god that even though his back was turned he could almost see that smug expression plastered on Eridan’s face, and he could feel the energy behind his eyes heating up. Blue and red smoke began to trail upwards from the sockets, and the voices had seemed to quiet down, wary of Sollux’s own internal screaming and the angry electricity coursing through him.

Vaguely Sollux heard a low buzzing coming from Eridan’s “science wand,” that stupid little piece of shit Maryam had given him a while back.

“Glubbin’ fine then,” Eridan continued, after being met with only silence. “’S’not like I came here to talk anyway.”

Sollux sometimes wondered if his keen reflexes were his own attribute or if his clairvoyant abilities were the reason for it, but regardless, he was thankful for them as he found himself flipping around almost involuntarily just in time to see a bright flash of white energy barreling towards him. How he also managed to whip off his glasses and fire an optic blast back at him in that span of time was a mystery to him, but fuck it if he cared anyway because all he could see was red and blue and the only thoughts running through his head were, _Fuck him for making everything harder, fuck him for being my problem._

 _Make him pay._

Sollux tried not to seem as surprised as he was when the blast from Eridan’s wand caught his own attack, not only slowing it down but catching it in the middle and holding it there.

This was different than last time. This was already going on for longer than it had in the game, and Sollux was exerting more energy. This wasn’t good. He hadn’t thought to assess Eridan’s new toy yet. The wand was more powerful than Ahab’s Crosshairs. Eridan was more powerful with it. It had been easy to overtake him before. But he had gotten better.

And it was pissing Sollux off.

It wasn’t certain who broke off first (though they would both insist it was the other), but eventually the energy coming out of Sollux’s eyes was getting too hot, and somehow through the flames his eyes watered from being unable to blink. He couldn’t take it anymore, and he suddenly snapped his eyes shut with a snarl, only vaguely realizing that Eridan had also cut his own attack short with a curse.

When Sollux opened his eyes again, he saw Eridan charging at him, the seadweller’s lips curled upwards as he bared sharp fangs at the psionic. Sollux’s head felt fuzzy from the effects of his blast, and he tried to float backwards a split second too late. He was almost above Eridan’s head before the purple-blood managed to wrap a hand around his ankle and yank him back down. Sollux managed to jerk himself out of his grip, but was just unbalanced enough to momentarily lose control of his psionics, and he fell roughly to the ground. He gritted his teeth and shut his eyes as the back of his head made contact with the hard, metal floor, opening his eyes only when he felt an unwarranted presence above him.

His eyes met first with the sparking point of the wand that was shoved in his face, and then with the face of the wand’s owner. Eridan’s eyes were wild, his pupils shaking angrily with the effort of keeping his gaze locked on Sollux, focusing past the distractions of how brightly the wand was glowing. His teeth were completely bared now, and slightly tinged with a purple marble. There was a cut on his lip where the blood was coming from, as if Eridan had bit his lip while they were fighting. His breath was hot and heavy against Sollux’s face as he panted above him, and suddenly Sollux was so aware of where the seadweller’s hand was, flush against his chest, and where he straddled his hips on either side, pinning him to the ground.

Sollux’s breath caught in his throat.

The yellowblood’s survival instincts only came second, and he tried to reach past the tightness in his chest to realize that there was a dangerous weapon a mere inches from his face. As his mind suddenly raced with ways to incapacitate the seadweller, Sollux suddenly realized the position they were in and thought of something so simple and stupid that he couldn’t _not_ give it a try, just to see the look on the Eridan’s face if it actually worked.

Sollux lifted his knee up and nailed Eridan in the crotch.

Sollux backed up some as Eridan doubled over himself, his hands shoved between his legs defensively as he groaned into his sleeve. Sollux finally managed to breathe again, panting as he watched Eridan suffer, and in spite of himself, the corner of his mouth curled up into a smirk.

“Cod _dammit_ ,” Eridan groaned, his voice strained. He lifted his head up to glare at the yellowblood, and Sollux almost laughed at the glasses sitting askew on his entitled face. “That was fuckin’ low, Sol. Even for you.”

Sollux did laugh at this, although it was more of a disbelieving snort than an actual laugh. “Oh my god, thhut up.” Sollux grunted slightly as he tried to push himself further away. But from the angle he was laying at, he only succeeded in pushing himself higher up, closer to Eridan’s face.

Sollux froze. He felt his chest tighten again, and suddenly they felt so close, and though his head still felt foggy from the effects of his own attack, endorphins from the fight had him running high and the anger in Eridan’s eyes looked so crisp. Something inside Sollux suddenly changed.

Eridan hadn’t seemed to take notice to the new atmosphere, no doubt too busy pitying his own situation. Sollux wanted him to catch on, so he tried to meet his eyes to give him a significant look. Eridan simply glared back at him, but after a while he seemed to notice something was off, and he started to raise an eyebrow.

“What are y-” The seadweller cut himself off as the gravity of the situation hit him, and his eyes grew wide. “ _Oh_.”

Sollux managed to roll his eyes before the seadweller’s lips crashed into his own, the impact making him moan slightly. As Eridan kissed him heatedly, his hands began to wander to Sollux’s chest. The seadweller pressed down on him, trying to push him onto his back. Sollux growled at this, but Eridan only snarled back and pushed down harder. Sollux almost protested again, but then the royal-blood took his bottom lip in his teeth, pulling back to scrape his fangs against it as he released it. Sollux moaned and gave in, grabbing Eridan’s face to force him back onto his mouth, and let himself be pushed back against the floor.

They kissed for a few moments longer before Eridan began pulling away, much to Sollux’s frustration. The seadweller’s parted away from him just enough to speak.

“Sol,” he panted.

Sollux gritted his teeth, digging his claws into the other troll’s cheeks. “Thhut up.” He pulled him back in. Eridan complied for a moment, but only for a moment, and soon he was pulling away again.

“Sol….”

“Oh my god, thhut up.”

“Sol, are we…. Are we… are we for real now?”

Sollux only growled again in reply and pulled him back into a kiss.

Eridan pulled away again. “Sol-”

“Oh my god thtop talking you’re ruining it.”

“I just kinda wanted to-”

“Why, why, why, _why_ aren’t you thhutting up yet.”

“I just can’t ever be fuckin’ sure with you and-”

“Oh my god, I’m making out with the motht annoying piethe of thhit alive, we’re making out and you can’t even thhut up for one fucking thecond-”

“I mean, cod, can you give me a straight answer just once I mean s’that too much t-”

“HOLY THHIT, YETH, OKAY?” The words left Sollux’s mouth before he even realized he was saying them. It took him even longer to realize they were true. His eyes widened as he realized just how much he hated Eridan at that moment, but it was so _different_ , and he couldn’t even describe it but suddenly it was hitting him at full force, and any spontaneous desire left in him dissipated amongst a flood of anxiety. Sollux immediately unhanded Eridan’s face to cover his own face, and he groaned mournfully into his palms. “Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.”

Eridan was choosing to ignore this reaction as a toothy grin slowly fell across his face. “Oh my cod. You’re serious. You’re serious! I knew you couldn’t’a resisted my- _hrrk_.”

Sollux didn’t bother to open his eyes as he used his psionics to yank Eridan backwards by his scarf. He ran his hands through his hair and sighed as Eridan floundered above him, and then calmly slid out from underneath the seadweller and started to stand up. The moment, whatever it was to begin with, was over. That much was clear. He looked down at Eridan in exasperation, who was glaring at him as he tried to sputter out insults that only came out as choked gurgles. Sollux sighed again and released his hold.

As Eridan tried to catch his breath, Sollux took the opportunity to speak. “I…” He trailed off, not exactly sure how to phrase this, and ran a hand through his hair again as he thought. “Fine, okay? I… I guethh we’re thomething, alright? I mean, at thith point it would be fucking retarded to not admit that.” Eridan looked up at Sollux then, his face pathetically eager, and Sollux cringed. “But I…. Fuck.” He cut himself off with a curse and rubbed his forehead in frustration. “We can’t tell anyone about thith, okay?”

Confusion first fell over Eridan’s face, followed by anger. “What? Wait, why the glub-”

“Becauthe it’th jutht a little fucking weird, okay?!” Sollux interrupted, his own anger rising. He didn’t want to actually say anything about Feferi, uneager to open that can of wrigglers, but if Eridan couldn’t get the hint, he was a bigger idiot than Sollux could have ever guessed. His only hope was that Eridan would be just as hesitant to talk about his relationship with Feferi too.

Sollux found his hunch to be correct, as a look of understanding eventually came across him. Sollux was actually surprised at how quickly Eridan gave in then, looking away somberly with a pout. “Fine,” was all he muttered.

Sollux almost said something else, but he couldn’t think of anything good to say that wouldn’t sound stupid, so instead he simply began awkwardly looking around the room for his glasses. He found them laying on the ground a few feet away, and he picked them up with his psionics and brought them to where he was standing. He put them on and started floating anxiously, wanting to leave now that things had gotten uncomfortable, but in spite of himself he felt like he should say something.

“I’ll uh,” he started slowly, backing up nervously towards the exit. “I guethh I’ll… thee you later?”

Eridan whipped his head back towards the psionic indignantly. “Hey, w-wait,” he whined, looking offended and entitled. “Come on, can’t we still make out?”

Sollux simply grimaced at the seadweller’s blatant inability to read the atmosphere, and then yanked his scarf back again, leaving the room to let Eridan to flail around by himself for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god this took........... so............. LONG.................. I'm really sorry abotu that, hopefully I don't lose any readers haha. I know i said this last time, but a wait this long really shouldn't happen again. =/ This chapter was just hard for me to write for some reason, bluh. Thanks for waiting though, you guys! ;w; also, thanks so much to Cam, AKA ridekawaiidiekawaii for the impromptu beta!!!


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